Spontaneous Musings

Weirdly, and believe it or not? I sleep better now than I used to. I used to average between 3-5 hours. Now, it's between 5-7 hours, so progress. I even get 8-9 hours intermittently. The smart watch has made a difference - it inspires me to get to bed earlier - and the move to the financial district means that I'm sleeping twenty minutes longer.

I've always had problems with sleep - since I was a child. Busy mind. I used to sleep with my books. And a cat or two. I was raised with cats. I miss the cats, actually - but can't really own one now for multiple reasons not worth going into? They did not help me sleep better.
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Last night, I went to bed early, turned off everything around 9:00 pm, and was in bed by 9:40pm. Fell asleep by 10:16 pm (according to the watch at any rate), and ended up waking up at 2:30am, and couldn't get back to sleep - even though I listened to three different sleep meditations on the Calm app. One...kind of triggered a bad memory - it was talking about imagining being in a peaceful and safe place...and managed to remind me of a horror novel that I read over a year ago, and still haunts me to this day. (PenPal, avoid at all costs).

Me: It was about walking through a forest and for some reason it brought to mind this horrible scene from a horror novel -
Mother: How odd that a meditation about Star War's the "force" would trigger horror novel, usually the force is a good thing.
Me: No forest.
Mother: yes, the force.
Me: No. F-o-r-e-s-t, Forest.
Mother: Ohhhh. That makes more sense. I thought you said force.

Sigh. It is possible to have conversations with folks, use words in the same language, and completely not understand one another.
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****

Been seeing advertisements in the subway for "Friend.com" - stating things like, "Friend: listens to you, responds, and supports you" and "binge a entire television series with you", "share adventures"...and I thought, oh, this must be friending app, similar to a dating app, except for platonic relationships! I should go check this out.

Eh.

Turns out my definition of "friend" isn't exactly the same as others?

Friend is an AI wearable pendant that records everything you say and do, and after collecting all this data - analyzes it and talks to you about it

From the The Verge

( An AI pendant that you wear around your neck constantly, records your voice and all your discussions, and supports you, talks back to you and is your friend )

Apparently he spent $1.5 M just to buy the domain name.

I don't know, I find the concept kind of frightening? And really disturbing? That's not how I define friendship. Friendship is supporting each other, listening to each other, and caring about each other, and enjoying things together, debating things, discussing things, and sometimes disagreeing but being okay about it.

Although I guess it is weirdly reassuring in a misery loves company kind of way that there are so many people out there, including this guy, who crave friendship and can't quite find it?

In more disturbing AI news?( Read more... )

Okay. What happened to friendship apps - where you just, you know, meet folks with similar interests? I feel like I woke up one morning and suddenly found myself living in a science fiction horror series by way of Black Mirror and Philip K Dick? And how can I extricate myself? Does anyone see an escape route? Because I want out. Also is there a way we can make any of this stop?

****

I did spend about an hour this morning talking to Art History Major (cubical mate) who is stuck at home recuperating from a stress fracture, which I think is a broken foot. ( Read more... )

*****

I'm avoiding the news as much as possible. I know what's going on in the world. I wish I didn't. My way of coping is ruthlessly mocking it and making fun of everything. I managed to make myself and various co-workers laugh today. So, that's a win, right?

One co-worker thinks we should all go to group therapy for the trauma of Crazy Org's merger of the agencies. I'm beginning to think the entire United States needs some group therapy.

I found this "Portrait of Life/Portrait of Grief" rather moving and relatable:

Finished PenPal by Dathan Auerbach (which was originally posted as a series of short stories on MrCreepyPasta - a Reddit horror story blog).




An almost impossible to review horror novel without spoilers, and it's actually better if you read it unspoiled. The narrator, whose name is never revealed, is attempting to piece together various stories and memories from his childhood to make sense of what happened. But it's not until he talks with his mother as an adult, sharing his bits of information with her, and obtaining her insights - that he discovers the truth behind what actually happened.
( full review, very vague spoilers )

You can also listen to it as read by the author - HERE .

Oh should state - if you have kids, it could really upset you. So not sure I'd recommend to folks with small children?

Started Experimental Films by Gemma Files - which is also a horror novel. I'm kind of binging horror novels at the moment. Horror and dark fantasy novels. Mainly because I finally burned out on romance novels. I swear they are all alike after a bit, romance novels, not horror novels (say what you will about horror - but it is a very broad genre and less formulaic). And everyone spends far too much time examining their navels and pondering if life is worth living without said romantic partner in it. (It is. Romance is overrated. And honey? He's really not worth the trouble or rather she's not worth the trouble, it varies.)

Off to bed. I think. Happy the week is almost over - been a bit of a slog.

Groggy. I had eaten dinner. Just finished watching the soap (which I watch during dinner instead of the news), and ...somehow dozed off for about an hour and a half. One moment it was about 7 pm, the next 8:35 pm.

I blame lack of sleep the night before. And a difficult work day. Both of which made me irritable. I'd stayed up a bit too late (11:30 pm) finishing a horror novel, and then couldn't get comfortable. Finally fell asleep, only to wake up around 2 Am in pain, unable to get comfortable, feeling a kind of sick sinus headache, took tynenol, and finally with the aid of Headspace sleep meditation - got to sleep again around 3:30, only to get up with the alarm at 5:45.

Work was...frustrating. But I accomplished a few things.

**

Been enjoying Bluesky. Although I think I followed too many folks and am getting a bit lost again and scare of posting anything. I got followers too - mainly from stating that I get most of my book recommendations from social media, and not best of lists and have lots of e-books, because book stores are crappy at stocking much in the way of sci-fi and fantasy novels.

I've leaped from the Romance genre to the fantasy/sci-fi and horror genre, to kill my reading slump. It worked. After slogging through the dreadfully dull historical romance, "A Daring Pursuit" - I flew through T Kingfisher's The Hollow Places. Much like "The Twisted Ones" - Kingfisher gets her inspiration from another horror tale from the turn of the previous century, or circa 1900, Algernon Blackwoods's The Willows - a summary of it can be found Two minute summary and analysis of The Willows. Kingfisher even references the previous work within her own - having it become the instigator of her contemporary reinterpretation of it. (She does much the same thing with The Twisted Ones, referencing The White People within it.)

Kingfisher's novel features psychological horror and body horror (although to someone else and not the main characters). The supernatural and largely unseen (until the end) menace does weird things to its victims, that are disquieting and deeply horrifying. ( spoilers )

I found the novel equal parts compelling (a real page turner), suspenseful,
and disquieting. Also much like her earlier work haunting, I find myself thinking about it after reading it.

The plot? ( vague spoilers )

To tell more, would give it all away, and horror novels are best left unspoiled for the most part.

I enjoyed it. More importantly it broke my reading slump. And since the Twisted Ones was the last book to do it. I took the hint and decided to jump genres. I'm reading horror at the moment.

Currently reading The Devil Takes You Home by Gabino Iglesias' - which is about a man who due to horrific circumstances finds himself doing the unthinkable.

The Devil Takes You Home a barrio noir that invites readers to consider the depths of darkness in this world, its material effects, and the cycles of violence we both willingly and perforce enter into.

At the novel's opening, Mario, the narrator, and his wife Melisa have just received news that their daughter Anita has been diagnosed with leukemia. A few weeks later, Mario is fired from his job after taking too much time off to care for her. The bills, medical and otherwise, pile up, and in desperation, Mario reaches out to Brian, an old coworker who told Mario once to "Call if the damn poverty noose gets too tight, yeah?" In short order, Brian gives Mario a gun, a mark, and the promise of $6,000.

It's well written and reminds me a little of Stephen King in style. Also a character centric novel.

As I remarked recently on Blue Sky? One of the things that horror and romance novels have in common, possibly the only thing, is an utter dependence on character. If the characters aren't strong, relatable and/or likable and the reader isn't rooting for them - the whole thing unravels.
They tend to be more character driven than plot driven. And may well be the only genres like this. Mystery is very plot driven, Science Fiction is into world building as is Fantasy. Literary is well into the prose or word-smithery, I'm not even sure it matters sometimes if there are characters or plot - as long as the prose is thought-provoking and/or moving on some level. But horror and romance? It's the characters that matter. If they aren't there - the story falls apart.

**Off to bed, and hopefully sleep.

Or happy Memorial Day? Seems odd to say that. Time was I visited the graves with my Gran on this day - but that was over twenty some years past. (She died in 09, and I moved in 96, so...the last time I did that was probably 1994 or 95. Now my mother's cousin A visits Liberty, Mo once a year, at Memorial Day, to do it. I don't know who will do it when she passes, she's eighty. [No, it won't be me - can't drive and you kind of have to. Well that and I've an aversion to the mid-west.]

Didn't do much today outside of robot vacuum, and watch television. It was hot. I did make it to the grocery store and back - mainly for lunch items, and got a sick sinus headache for my efforts.

***

Television

1. Crimson Peak by Guillimoro Del Toro (whose name I can't spell). It stars Tom Hiddleston, Jessica Chastain, Mia Waswachowski, Jim Beaver, and Charlie Hunam. Hiddleston and Chastain pretty much own the movie.

It kind of reminds me of Dragonwyck, except with a murderous sister and incest. Or basically it's Bluebeard but with a murderous sister.

This is a common trope. The only thing Del Toro does differently is he has the brother and sister in love, and incestuous, and he kind of focuses on the sister's love for the brother - having her state at the end, that love makes monsters of us all.

The difficulty with this film is honestly the difficulty with all of Del Toro's films - he's more interested in his lovable monsters than the human characters. Also he tends to go for visual style over characterization or plot.

At any rate, it's not a scary film - it's more of a romantic gothic film? But in the vein of Dragonwyck not Jane Eyre.

Some nice visual imagery though.

[Available on Netflix, everywhere else you have to spend money for it.]

2. The Offer - via Paramount Plus. This is a series about the making of The Godfather. The principle characters are Al Ruddy (portrayed by Miles Teller - who took the role from Arnie Hammer, gee, guess why?), Robert Evans (Mathew Goode), Bettye McCart (Juno Temple), Mario Puzo, Francis Fort Coppla, and a producer portrayed by Burn Gorman.

It's okay. It's pretty much Paramount Studios and Hollywood during the late 1960s early 70s. Robert Redford, Frank Sinatra (who hated The Godfather), Mia Farrow, Ali McGraw, and various others pop up. And it focuses on the difficulties of getting a movie made, and producing it. The focus or central characters are the producers.

3. Star Trek : Strange New Worlds - it has almost the same credits music and entry signature as the Original Trek - with Pike making it up and giving voice to it. This is basically Star Trek or the voyages of the Enterprise with Christopher Pike, before James T. Kirk took over his crew.
It has Uhura, Spock, and Lt. Samuel Kirk. I like the cast. Also Ethan Peck makes a great Spock.

First episode was interesting, and there's some tension in the series - due to Pike's vision on Discovery of his horrific death and paralysis. (Which most Star Trek fans, or anyone who has seen the Star Trek episode "The Cage"/"The Menagerie" - that is referenced in Star Trek : Discovery, and shows Pike's fate. It's a disturbing episode in the original canon, and I'd love it if they were to undo it.) Anyhow Pike fears this ending, and his fear is affecting some of his decision making, until one of his officers gives him an epiphany of sorts - "those who fear death are more likely to live longer and survive longer than those who don't. If you can't see your death or imagine it, the quicker it will happen."

Also the episode references the classic film "The Day the Earth Stood Still" with the Enterprise playing a role that is similar to the aliens in the classic film.

3. Picard - I made the colossal mistake of watching the first episdoe of S2 (which is easy to do on these streaming channels which assume you've seen the first season already, I hadn't.) So I was confused by it.
I kept thinking - okay who are these characters and why are they doing whatever it is that they are doing? Also, why is Picard so messed up? And why did Q show up.

I just have to watch S1 first to understand it, apparently.

S2 is playing games with time travel and alternate timelines. I get the feeling Picard is playing into the temporal wars that are referenced in Star Trek Discovery.

What I like about the Star Trek franchise - and why I prefer it to the Star Wars franchise - is it kind of branched out more and created new characters, while at the same time building upon the old ones. Also it has managed to resolve and complete its character arcs in a satisfying fashion. With all of the original actors involved. We get all of Lt. Spock's history, including his back story (in Discovery and Strange New Worlds), all of Kirk's, all of Picard's, pretty everyones. And they weren't afraid to branch out and character new characters.

Add to all of the above? Trak is consistent, and explains the inconsistencies well.

Star Wars franchise - only works well when it veers completely away from the Skywalker/Solo clan. Mandalorian and Rogue One were for the most part pretty good. But the films that center on that clan with the exception of the first three films, and maybe Force Awakens, are a mess. As are the series.

Trek in sharp contrast has for the most part been fairly consistent. And rewarded long-time viewers with satisfying endings for their favs.

***

On the book front - I downloaded a lot of free gothic romances to the Kindle. There were four or five of them - rec'd by a blogger who hunted for modern writers of gothic romance that were good. The three that cost something - I ignored, one was Dragonwyck by Anya Seton (moustache twirling sociopathic love interest/villain and simpering, somewhat stupid, damsel in distress - with a young doctor who saves her - kind of a dumb version of Crimson Peak - hard pass), and the other was Jane (basically Jane Eyre with a Reclusive Rock Star - screamed New Adult, and hard pass), there was also one that was clearly the beginning of a mystery series and featured a serial killer (another hard pass).

Finished "Stitch in Time" - which Crimson Peak kind of reminded me of, except I liked Stitch better. Felt Stitch was a touch less cliche. Although both were problematic in that they followed common tropes. And Stitch felt a touch sexist, misogynistic in its trope. I know the author thought she was being clever with the twist, but I'd have gone the way I originally thought she was going - to be honest. This had the same problem that Crimson Peak had (without the incest, and the brother isn't nasty and is older, and rather sane). Stitch also focused more on the romantic and less on the horrific.

Will state that I agree with many of the reviewers in that Stich is among the few time travel stories that actually worked for me. Mainly because the heroine is not permitted much past the hero, so can't affect the timeline easily. Okay worked for the most part - it didn't bug me the way most of these time travel stories do.

Off to bed. Hopefully I won't wake up five times in the night like I have the last few nights. The disrupted sleep is resulting in irritability and increased tiredness.

Got the day off today. Too tired from the work week to do much with it - outside of vegging. I did go grocery shopping and took out the trash. Also made it through about six or seven days back on the dw correspondence list.

I've a few posters who post about twenty times a day. Including Smart Bitches - which wrote an amusing (spoiler filled) review of the horror flick Fresh. (I've no interest in seeing the horror movie - I won't watch certain films. Basically anything regarding torture, graphic depictions of cannibalism or gore, or sexual violence are out. I will watch horror films - I'm just highly selective for my own mental health.)

Quote from review..
Amazing that we made it 46 minutes in without someone telling her to smile.

Maya: Better than a lot of workplaces I’ve been in!!!

Yep. There used to be men in my workplace who would plague me daily - by telling me to smile. It doesn't happen now. The next generation is a bit more "woke" in that regard. My generation and the one above me, was woefully not - and kind of abusive about it.

It was always an order. And I'd comply with a look of death attached. My look of death can stop people in their tracks. If looks could kill ...and all that.

Don't do that. Never tell someone to smile. If they aren't smiling it's for a reason. And it's self-centered to ask. People who ask folks to smile, deserve to smacked or squirted with a water gun. (I kind of wish I could walk around with a water gun and just squirt people who annoy me. The only draw back? I'd probably get squirted too.)

Good news? It doesn't happen any longer. We got rid of all of the assholes who did that - finally. Or it got beaten out of them by the #MeToo Movement, and if so? Hallelujah.

Another quote that I found funny, because we've already established the fact that I've an odd sense of humor...
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See? I love reading reviews of horror flicks for this reason - I often find them hilarious. Mainly because whoever makes horror flicks either has a really odd sense of humor, or is really bad at making movies. The bar is set very low - at any rate. Oh, history lesson? Apparently the early slasher flicks in the 1970s were made by the Porn film studios. They did both. Actually they started with porn and slowly gravitated to horror, discovering it was cheaper and more lucrative. Plus not that hard to do. Apparently the leap from porn to well Texas Chainsaw Massacre wasn't that big? Both objectify the human body for exploitative purposes. And are ever so slightly sadistic...and appealing to the puerile and slightly sadistic side of the human brain, which likes to spend money and sit in dank movie houses.

**

My apartment complex got noisy all of sudden, with lots of opening doors, chattering, and climbing of stairs and stomping about. Now quieting down again. And it's quiet - all I hear are police and ambulance sirens howling in the distance, which to be honest are kind of like the sound of foghorns at the beach, one gets used to them.

***

Soap opera also amused me today...at the tail end of it, I was waiting for Harmony to kill Brendan who was blackmailing her - with a giant syringe in a park, next to a baseball field at night. Instead, she accidentally pushed him off a cliff. (which popped out of nowhere).

I burst out laughing.

Why?
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**

Mother reports that her knee is healing quickly. (Note - knee replacements heal faster than hips, mother is living proof of this.) They told her that her knee's healing was faster than most people's. (So it may just be my mother.) As a result, she was able to see father today. Who apparently didn't ask how she was doing, or relate to it at all. He did know she was there. And informed her that his vocabulary was getting better and he had access to more words now. (She confirmed that he did). Then he told her that he had to get back to writing his book - so apparently that's all that is getting better. (He's not "really" writing a book.)

None of us have gotten the fourth shot yet. I'm procrastinating. I don't really want to get it from Wallgreens. Also not so sure I need it yet.

**

Finished New Amsterdam finally - or rather I'm all caught up. Made it through all 18 episodes saved to my DVR. Not today, I've done it incrementally over the course of three months.

New Amsterdam is a medical drama. It's not a medical procedural, nor a soap opera, nor an emotional drama like This is Us. It tends to not lean too heavily into melodrama. And for the most part swings towards realism.
I wouldn't say it's quite as good as ER or St Elsewhere, but it's close.
( Read more... )

**

I'm hoping to do laundry this weekend, clean out a closet, and possibly switch out the spring clothes with the winter ones. But I don't know. I'm tired and I've upped my metroformin now. So we'll see.

[Which I keep calling the 30 Days of Television for some reason...]

This is Day 27 of 30 Days of Halloween Challenge

The prompt is A horror film, book or television series from a director or writer that you love.

Hmm. I have to pick something and someone I haven't already picked.

I know..

The Shape of Water by Guillermo Del Torro - who crafts horror fairy tales, with an attention to detail and precision in film-making that is astonishing. His horror films often are works of art. Also the director is very charming, and kind - as far as I can tell. (If he's not, don't tell me.) Plus his films seem to be about characters who have been marginalized or are fighting against those who wish to oppress them, yet they find a way to overtake their oppressors and empower themselves towards the end.

This is Day #15 of the 30 Days of Halloween Challenge.

The prompt is A horror film that features an animal or insects or plants in either the title or as the main threat.

One rule: DO NOT PICK A FILM WITH SPIDERS! I don't want to see it or know about it. You can pick anything else with animals, insects, or plants. I'm an arachnophobe. Please be mindful of my high blood pressure, thank you.

Mine is Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. It's adapted from a short story by Daphne Du Maurier. She did another one that was adapted into a film...but I won't list it in case someone else picks it.



I love this film. And it's close to the short story, but in some respects far more disturbing. Hitchcock was a bit like Kubrick, everyone thought he was brilliant, but he drove actors nuts. The man liked to torture his actors.

Day #7 of the 30 Days of Halloween Meme.

Prompt:

A film, television series, book or song about ghosts that you liked



This is perhaps the best film about ghosts that I've seen. It's minimalist like all of Robert Wise's films. Wise did West Side Story and Andromeda Strain - and was a master at minimalism and realism in film. He understated special effects, and provided suggestion.

The ghost story as psychological thriller.

This is Day #2 of the 30 Day Halloween Challenge

The prompt is... A favorite female or male actor that you enjoy in horror films or television series

Hmmm... this is harder than I thought.

Well, I don't really have one that has translated well in more than one television series that I'd consider horror...no wait, there is one.

I'm going with...Bruce Campbell.

1. Dental appointment tomorrow -- yes, on Sunday, odd I know. I'm hoping it goes well. My insurance is weird. If it's under $300 -- then they send in the insurance form after my appointment, if it's over $300, they send it in after.

Oh well, it's only three blocks away. Will take me less then ten minutes to get there.

2. 100 Favorite Horror Novels (courtesy of NPR National Readers/Listener's Poll of 2018)

As with our other reader polls, this isn't meant to be a ranked or comprehensive list — there are a few books you won't see on it despite their popularity — some didn't stand the test of time, some just didn't catch our readers' interest, and in some cases our judges would prefer you see the movie instead. (So no Jaws, sorry.) And there are a few titles that aren't strictly horror, but at least have a toe in the dark water, or are commenting about horrific things, so our judges felt they deserved a place on the list.

One thing you won't see on the list is any work from this year's judges, Stephen Graham Jones, Ruthanna Emrys, Tananarive Due and Grady Hendrix. Readers did nominate them, but the judges felt uncomfortable debating the inclusion of their own work — so it's up to me to tell you to find and read their excellent books! I personally, as a gigantic horror wuss, owe a debt of gratitude to this year's judges, particularly Hendrix, for their help writing summaries for all the list entries. I'd be hiding under the bed shuddering without their help.

And a word about Stephen King: Out of almost 7000 nominations you sent in, 1023 of them were for the modern master of horror. That's a lot of Stephen King! In past years, we've resisted giving authors more than one slot on the list (though we made an exception for Nora Roberts during the 2015 romance poll — and she's basically the Stephen King of romance.) In the end, we decided that since so much classic horror is in short story format, we would allow authors one novel and one short story if necessary.

They grouped it by category. So bold what you've read, italicize what you tried and couldn't complete or own and couldn't get into.

[A lot of really interesting books on this list that I've never heard of and want to try.]

( meme - 100 Horror Novels )

Doing that reminded me of how much horror has always intrigued me. I seem to have a love/hate relationship with it -- in that it keeps me awake at night.