1. Macs are not the best when it comes to saving files or organizing electronic files, or finding them later. PC's are better for that as is Windows Operating system. But Macs have less viruses and last longer.

I have both - Mac laptop at home, PC desktop at work. I flirt with getting another PC desktop for home, but I like the Mac virus protection better for home use and firewall. However, I need to get a new Mac and I don't want to. They are expensive.

2. Been fighting a sick headache all day long, no idea what is causing it. High blood pressure? (I took it - it's high, so took the diuretic which makes me woozy to bring it down). The weather? Blood sugar? Menopause? God knows. [ETA: It's better now - combination of headache (a generic excedrin), benedryl, and blood pressure diuretic, plus water, and a brownie. Seems to have done the trick.]

Also got off the computer and watched Poker Face on Peacock instead. Poker Face is basically Rian Johnson's take on Columbo, with Natasha Lyon playing the detective. ( Read more... )

I recommend for anyone who likes episodic detective stories, with a parlor room mystery style. Also Natasha Lyon. It's currently on Peacock in the US.

3. I think I figured out why I hate conflict and arguing with folks online or off - it's because it brings out the worst in me? I don't like hurting people. Or tit for tat. I don't like getting condescending. Or cursing. Or fighting. It makes me physically ill. It raises my blood pressure. It tightens my chest cavity. And it causes anxiety.

Some people get off on it, I think? But I never have. It's why I realized I couldn't be a litigator - I didn't like fighting with people. And negotiations often fell in that category as well. I don't like arguments.
I never have.

Every time it happens - my hands shake so badly, I can't type. I lose sleep. And I feel ill. I'm a writer not a debater. It's probably why I didn't become a practicing attorney. I know how to debate - but I hate doing it.

4. Meant to work on my novel this weekend - sent the info to myself and everything, but alas, I just couldn't. No bandwidth capacity - me, not the computer. Frustrating, that. At this rate - it will never be completed, or so it seems. I have all these ideas, but no physical bandwidth to get them out and in writing.

In other writing related news? I got a positive comment on a Buffy fanfic (No Regrets") that I wrote ages ago, and posted on Ao3, I didn't respond back. I learned my lesson with Ao3, don't respond to comments (positive or negative) or add any new posts - or they will find me and attack me with emails about freezing my account and taking down my stuff and how I'm not following some arcane and incredibly difficult to understand rule or other. Much better to stay quiet. But it was a nice comment.

"That was a very profound read, really interesting in depth look at what becoming human might mean for Spike into Will.
Also seeing Buffy's own thoughts on the changes in her life
I like the way that you ended it, no neat bow, but with perhaps a friendship to continue and a bit of a nostalgic laugh also."

I still get kudos from that page from time to time, which makes me think maybe I'm touching people with my writing in a good way? That I'm reaching folks that I've never met and somehow making their lives a little better, or giving them something to connect to, or making them think a little bit differently about something? I think that's all any of us want to do sometimes, is just find a way to connect with one another, and obtain a positive emotional response? To share the love? And to some degree the pain - at least to the point in which it makes us feel less alone, and connected to something bigger? To know there's someone else somewhere out there wherever they may be that feels the same way we do about this?

Life can feel very lonely at times. ( Read more... )

I think art and culture often connects us - in a good way. Television shows, music, concerts, live theater, movies, books, readings, dance, and sporting events. A way to come together and discuss things that bring us joy. But all of that can also divide. Humans are complicated organisms after all.

5. I watched some television shows.

Finished The Bear S4. The Bear does for restaurants what The Pitt does for the ER, except it has more family interaction and really delves into the individual characters deeply. Also has quite the cast - three to four members of it - have taken off since the series aired. And multiple members have gotten Emmys. Season 4, unlike the previous seasons, is really comforting and provides a sense of closure for multiple character arcs - each of the characters manages to resolve the main issue plaguing them since the beginning of the series. I may re-watch it from the beginning in July. It's not long. Just 10 episodes per season. First season had 8. And each episode is about 30 minutes. They aren't long episodes. But jam packed with information and character development.

Shows how much you can do in a short period of time.

( Read more... )

Andor - is unfortunately not as good. And I love science fiction and Star Wars (it was my first real fandom, well next to the Monkeys at any rate, and Batman and Robin, which I'm not completely sure counts). It is a different genre. But it is, alas, far too political for its own good - and a lot of time is wasted on plot mechanics, with the characters getting a bit lost in the shuffle. ( Read more... )

It's on Disney + in the US, and I don't recommend if you have brain fog, are depressed by the current political situation (and seriously who isn't?) and not really a devoted Star Wars fan?

I'll stick with it, but I may wait a bit.

More news on the Buffy Reboot, per Vanity Fair Interview with Gellar at a Film Festival in Italy (Seriously that actress is living the life of a multi-millionaire - I personally think they pay television actors far too much.)

"Gellar was convinced to step back into the vampire slayer’s shoes by Oscar-winning director Chloé Zhao, whose pitch forms the basis of the show. “For so many years, I said no to a possible return of the series,” she said. “I didn’t want to reintroduce something we had already seen. I waited for the right time to come. Then Chloé, a big Buffy fan, proposed the project to me, and I accepted. The gestation was long. It’s been three years, and we’re still working on it.” But soon filming will begin.

The star, who will be joined in the series by young actor Ryan Kiera Armstrong, revealed some details about the series as well: “It will be lighter than the last few seasons of the original. We will try to find a balance between new and old characters. My dream is to bring back everyone who has died, but space will have to be made for new stories as well.”

“One of the surprising aspects of Buffy is that it’s always been a crossover series,” Gellar added. “We’re trying to figure out how to modernize the themes of the series, especially what it means to feel like an outsider in a world dominated by social media. What we want to explore are the space-time boundaries that affect society today.”

[It was a short interview.]

From what I've been seeing from Instagram (I follow various Buffy actors), and who has reached out to Gellar, and is still friends and in contact with her - not to mention the actors seen going to fan conventions recently [no, I've never been to a fan convention - I don't do conventions - rather have a colonoscopy to be honest], together, my guess is that we will most likely see the return of the following:

Spike (Marsters is more than open to it and close with Gellar), Cordelia (Chase has a Cordelia podcast, where she watches shows as Cordelia more or less), Oz (Green has been going to Buffy conventions again), Darla, Drusilla (Landau has a rewatch Buffy podcast), Tara, Joyce, Wesley Wyndam-Price (Denisof is available and I'm certain Hannigan pitched it to Gellar), and possibly Angel (Boreanze did state on social media he would not be opposed to revisiting the character and has been attending conventions again) and Willow (Hannigan has been doing a charity thing with Gellar). It's unlikely Giles will return, but possible. I know Chase, Benze, and Landau reached out. And Gellar is suddenly openly friends with Hannigan again. Also Marsters has been losing weight, looks great, and keeps alluding to it.

Who I do not think will reappear is Xander (Brendan is persona non gratis at fan conventions (he was barred), and no one is in connection with him or wants to be, also the character did not age well, new viewers don't like him at all - basically he was cancelled just like Joss Whedon was, but for different and more severe reasons (which you, trust me, really don't want to know about - I wish I didn't - it makes it hard to watch Xander now) ), Warren (he'll stay dead), Dawn (they won't recast - if Trachenberg had lived - she'd be in it, definitely but not now, which is tragic), not sure about Jenny Calendar. Doubt we'll see anyone but Angel, Spike, Wes, and Cordy from the Angel show. Also she wants to make room for new characters.

While that's great? I've mixed feelings. Lighter tone - not sure about, Buffy worked well with a combination of light and dark, and slanting towards humorous horror.

But, she's probably right to swing away from some of the darker content in the series.

I have a feeling it may be more episodic in nature and less serial, which the series kind of became in later seasons.

The temperature dropped outside. It's now in the 70s. As Breaking Bad put it - night and day outside today.

At work, I ran into a neighbor in the lobby of my building (it's all Crazy Org).

He saw me, first. Told me this was his last day - he was retiring. (I honestly thought he was retired. He is definitely older than me.) We pass all the time in the laundry room and elevator - he lives across the hall from me with his family. He has a dog, and a neurodivergent son, who I think has either Touretts or Ausbergers?

Apparently he was a legal investigator for one of the agencies in Crazy Org since roughly 1993. I was somewhat envious - it sounded more interesting than editing legal documents and financial analysis and negotiations. I'm admittedly bored and frustrated at the moment. It's making me cranky? Well that and struggling with sleep, lingering chest congestion, and brain fog.

Below is a photo of Crazy Org today, standing tall against a gray sky.



It was bound to happen - that I'd run into a neighbor as they are retiring, considering Crazy Org employs over 75,000 New Yorkers.

I took a walk at lunch - it was mild, pleasant even, and overcast - also the last day of school in New York, apparently, so not that many tourists wandering about mucking up the works. Or many bikes for that matter.

And I saw a wild turkey in Battery City Park. Breaking Bad and I decided that the turkey probably escaped from Staten Island via the Ferry. [ETA: Where the turkey came from was/is a joke. We've no clue. We were just joking that it escaped a farm in Staten Island and came by ferry. (Which didn't happen). And since the photo is horrible - no I did not approach the wild turkey.]

( bad photo of a turkey )

Other than that the day was slow. So slow, I worked on my novel, played with spreadsheets, and played on my phone. Art History Major is off to see her family in Ohio.

***

Some good news?

The Senate Parliamentarian managed to take a hatchet to the Big Shitty Bill. Apparently you can't just add everything you like to a reconciliation bill which is meant to balance the government's budget. It's basically an accounting bill - that gets quickly passed because it's needed to balance a budget. They tried to add a bunch of stuff that had zip to do with that to the bill, which is in violation of the Senate's rules.

Parliamentarian removes medicaid cuts from Reconciliation Big Beautiful Bill

Violations Continue to Mount on Big Beautiful Bill

As one commentator aptly put it - adding the things the Republicans did to the Bill would be akin to balancing your household budget and adding a fancy new car for yourself.

For those who have raised valid concern following the Parliamentarian rulings knocking out some of the worst aspects of the GOP’s budget bill, Thune has reiterated no overruling.

***

R.I.P Bill Moyers

"Legendary journalist Bill Moyers has died at age 91. Moyers was the former White House press secretary under President Lyndon B. Johnson, and leaves behind a distinguished legacy in American journalism. Over five decades, he became known for his in-depth interviews and thoughtful documentaries on programs such as Bill Moyers Journal and Now with Bill Moyers. A champion of public broadcasting, Moyers received more than 30 Emmy Awards, nine Peabody Awards, and the National Humanities Medal for his contributions to civic discourse. Rest in peace, Bill."

The heat (it was 101 degrees today, and tonight has not dipped past 95 degrees with a high barometric pressure, and moderate air quality) - resulted in a sick nauseous headache by the time I got home, which is still lurking in the background. I felt dizzy, wiped out and off. Most likely the hangers on from my bout with COVID last week.

So instead of walking the fifteen to twenty blocks to the voting place, which is about a twenty minute walk in the heat, not helped by my sciatic nerve, I copped out. I feel really bad about it. But it is what it is. It's not like I have anyone I really want to vote for anyhow. I really did not like any of the people running. I'd landed on one, but I wasn't happy with the choice. I'll vote in the actual election - possibly by mail. This has taught me to try mail in voting from now on.

Heat and menopausal bodies are not mixy things. I also think my blood pressure was a bit off. I took the additional meds, it's seems to have leveled off a little now.

21. What is your favourite salad dressing?

Right now, it's usually lemon juice. I rarely use it. But if I do use it - I live olive oil and vingear, or Cesar Salad Dressing (with anchovies flavoring it).

22. Have you owned an aquarium or had a pond in your garden/backyard?

Don't have a backyard. So no on the pond. Parents had a lagoon for a bit.
And brother has a pond in his backyard, but not sure that counts? I owned an aquarium when I was a child - but not since then, too high maintenance.

23. Where is your favourite holiday destination – have you been more than once?


Don't really have one? I grew up with the view that you go somewhere different every year. I go to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina (it's a nice island off the coast of South Carolina and Georgia, that has sandy beaches, and is large enough to have a town, etc. It's not a small island.) But I only go to visit my mother, previously my parents, whom I'm exceedingly close to.

24. In 1911 French couturier Paul Poiret held his infamous 'The 1002nd Night' costume ball to launch his “Parfums de Rosine", the first signature scent linked to a design house. Have you a favourite scent?

I am allergic to most perfumes, unfortunately. They give me headaches. But I do like Lavender - doesn't bother me. (Note - most people with scent allergies or who are sensitive to perfume, have no problems with lavender for some reason or other). I also like lemon or citrus, euclyaptus, and pine.

Cinnamon now makes me sneeze. And Vanilla can make me queasy at times, weirdly.

I adore the scent of coffee.

***

More on what comforts me?

Songs or musicians that I find comforting?

* Joni Mitchell, Sarah McLachlan, The Magnetic Stripes, Sand Sheff, Bruce Springsteen, The Beatles, Sondheim's Into the Woods, The Stones, David Bowie, Janis Ian, Suzanne Vega, Joan Jett and the Runaways/ also that other band - basically anything with Joan Jett, Brenda Carlyle, the Indigo Girls,
and Pink Floyd

Mostly Folk and Classic Rock, also classical music - anything by Yo Yo Ma, or John Williams movie themes. I have a fondness for Gershwin and Jazz. Jazz reminds me of my Dad, who adored it, that and Frank Sinatra.

**

Smartbitches tempted me to buy another couple of books on Kindle, both were a $1.99. Went to get the first one, Hench, only to discover I'd already purchased it a year ago and forgotten about it. At least Amazon will inform me, other places aren't as considerate.

***

A picture of the fountain outside my workplace. It's finally working. No, no one was climbing into it. They can't without hurting the flowers. It's not a swimming fountain.




People were threatening to open up fire hydrants today - which is illegal. The city parks and the city has fountains folks can play in.

1. Finished watching Nonnas on Netflix. It's the true story of a man who decides to open a restaurant in Staten Island featuring the cooking of grandmothers, after his mother dies. Stars Vince Vaughn, Lorraine Braco, Talia Shire, Susan Sarandon, and Brenda Vaccaro, along with Linda Cappelina (who was in ER and Freaks & Geeks).

I looked it up? It's actually in Staten Island. Open on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, and features Nonnas of the World - basically grandmothers from around the world come and cook there. It's located on Hyatt Street in the historic district, not far from the Staten Island Ferry - which is free now.

Oh, this is tempting. You need to get reservations in advance, and have a two hour seating. Also, cash only or Vemo. (They don't appear to want to pay the credit card fees.)

Also, they have gluten-free items (clearly a real Italian establishment, you can always tell by the gluten free items on the menu).

It's called Enoteca Maria.

2. The Senate Parliamentarian Cuts Out Chunks of the Big Beautiful Ugly Bill because they violate the Byrd Rule.
( Bill had chunks cut out of it due to the fact they violate the Byrd Rule of Law )

3. Apparently Pope Leo has been sending folks to help stop ICE raids.

Bishop Michael Pham - the first U.S. appointment by Pope Leo - showed up at immigration court along with other religious leaders, in solidarity with immigrants going through the legal process, but where ICE has been arresting people. No ICE arrests were made. San Diego, California.

Go HERE

I've been re-watching Buffy, which I hadn't watched since roughly 2012? And I've picked up on various things that I didn't previously. Also, I'm astonished at how well it holds up for a series that aired between 1997-2003.

I've finished S2, and am into S3, which is a lot better than I remembered.
It doesn't have as many dud episodes, or skippable ones like S1 and 2 did.
S1 - the stand-a-lones were better, and S2 - the arc episodes were better. S3 - manages to hit the perfect balance between the two or it appears to, only six episodes in, but no duds yet. It also manages to do the same thing S2 did - which is bring in entertaining and creepy villains in Trick and the Mayor. I think they finally gathered together a good writing team - that gelled. With the additions of Jane Espenson and Doug Petrie to the mix.

Takeaways?

Beauty and the Beasts weirdly echoes Beneathe Me in S7. In both episodes, we have Buffy discover that the wicked vampire she was having an affair with, has returned somewhat crazy but with a soul. (Just differently.) And in both episodes there's a side story about a couple that is similar to Buffy's relationship to that vampire, but worse.
( analysis )

Xander, can you be a bigger jerk? Apparently so. I hadn't realized how committed the writers were to exploring the incel theme with Xander until this rewatch. People mentioned it over the years, but I just wasn't that focused on Xander or handwaved it? Also, I didn't like Cordelia previously, now, I kind of do. If you really dislike Cordelia - it's hard to see how abusive Xander truly is.
( analysis - if you are a Xander fan, you may want to skip, although I don't think there are any reading this any longer or Buffy fans for that matter - so not an issue )

* Cordelia is actually interesting? I'm surprised. But she is. And realistic. She's self-absorbed like well most people. And very much what Buffy might have been without the slayage - which the show always kind of got across.
She doesn't really have friends, but I'm not sure anyone truly does? Which is also interesting.

* Faith - I like better than I remembered. They are smart to not overuse the character, and go with less is more. I feel for Faith - Faith seems to care more about Buffy than Buffy cares about Faith. And genuinely wants to be friends with Buffy - but Buffy is distracted by Angel. It's an interesting writer choice that Cordy and Buffy fight off the people during slayerfest, while Faith goes to the prom by herself.

I can see why Faith eventually turns against Buffy and envies Buffy, part of this is on Buffy, Giles and the others. They cut Faith out in various ways. And are far too obsessed with their own romantic entanglements to see her or anyone else for that matter.

Romantic love (which I think is highly overrated) can often isolate, and alienate others - pushing people out of one's life. Romantic love that survives and becomes something greater such as friendship and companionship - brings people into one's life, as opposed to shutting them out. I think that is the test of a good relationship - does it bring in people or shut them out?

**

Not doing much today, outside of recovering from an illness. Back to work on Monday. It's sunny and windy outside, and in the low 80s. I may work on my book a bit, and maybe a little on my painting.

1. Ali Hazelwood Dislikes Peeta and that was problem for some folks

Peeta for the uninformed was Katniss's love interest in The Hunger Games or rather one of two love interests. The other was Gale, I think. I stayed out of the Hunger Games fandom for various reasons.

Apparently what happened is Ali Hazelwood, an author of various books, made the mistake on a book panel at a fan convention of stating that she didn't like Peeta. People got upset - and fanatically attacked her on her Instagram account. To the point, in which she ended up cancelling the entire account (she couldn't figure out how to turn off the comments - Instagram is impossible to use - and makes me crazy - I just post pictures on it and like others posts), and she was apparently popular and highly active.

Excerpt from the post, which I thought worthy of sharing:
( Read more... )

Nothing new, but a worthy reminder that before you post a comment in response to something you've read online, especially in fandom, ask yourself these questions:

* Is it kind?

* Is it necessary?

* Does it help?

And are you posting out of anger or rage? Or trying to prove someone else wrong, so you can be right? What is gained by embarrassing or humiliating anyone? [Note - this is reminder for myself as much as anyone. Trying to do better.]

2. Bruce Springsteen Bio-Pic Trailer

Well, everyone else got one - I guess it's his turn? Although I admittedly like his music and Jeremy Allen.

Methinks I've contracted a chest cold, or a head cold, feels like a chest cold. Lovely, I need to get blood work done on Thursday, and have a virtual appointment on Friday. I'll just wear a mask on Thursday. Also, apparently for most of this week.

I blame Breaking Bad, whose been under the weather of late. Or the subway.
God knows.

I did not go protest in the No Kings Protests yesterday, outside of the fact that I was feeling poorly and not sleeping well, so exhausted, plus digestive issues (one does not march with digestive issues in a huge city with no easily accessible bathrooms - it's just not done), and bum knees, with a sciatic nerve. The people doing it in their walkers, just protested outside of their homes on the sidewalk, not quite the same thing.

Not that I feel guilty or anything. (well maybe a little).

The official count is 12.1 million. Palantir is collecting data for the evil Empire (aka Trump Administration and his Republican cronies), so various sources have put up protections and aren't re-posting videos, photos, or addresses any longer. Things are starting to get heated in the US, and I'm not quite sure where its headed. I most likely have the same news resources that you all have, so we're kind of in it together?

Between the chest congestion, digestive issues, lack of sleep, sciatic nerve, and the news...I've fallen into a malaise of sorts and am finding it difficult to concentrate. As a result, I didn't get any of the things I intended to do - done this weekend. Oh well, I did at least do some exercises, took out the trash, and got a lot of water. (The water went out in my building on Friday night, so I went and picked up some.)

Did finish watching a few things of note:

1. Dept. Q on Netflix. Will it get a second season? Forbes thinks so, since Netflix submitted it for the Emmy's and doesn't tend to do that otherwise - also it got a good reception. But honestly, it's Netflix, so who knows?
It's a mixed bag, and I agree with the critics. Excellent performances, Mathew Good is rather brilliant in it, as is the rest of the cast. But, like most of these mystery series - it spends far too much time on the convoluted sadistic Case of the Arc or Lost Case, and not enough on the other mysteries. ( Read more... )

That said? Compelling characters, and I want to see more of them, and I liked them. Also I want more of the series. So...I was like all of the other critics willing to handwave the Lost Case.

2. Season 2 of My Buffy Re-watch

Take aways? Becoming Part II is a lot better than Becoming Part I, mainly for the Spike, Buffy, and Joyce scenes. Also the Drusilla, Jenny, Angel and Giles scenes. It's a lot more fun, and a little less on the campy/cheesy side.
( See more )

3. Murderbot I'm about five episodes in? Saw the latest at any rate, and kept falling asleep during it. It's a slow series. The books were too.
It's funny, but there's too much time spent on the space opera parody that the Murderbot is a fan of. Yes, yes, I get what the writers are doing there, but a little parody goes a long ways. I kept going to sleep.

4. Andor - it's almost too political for its own good. And convoluted. Reminds me a little of the second of the Star Wars prequels, which was also very political. I'm enjoying it, but my attention kept drifting today during it, which again may be due to an overall lack of focus on my part.

***

In the 60sF/10sC, wet and rainy. I've stayed in, since I'm a bit under the weather and tired. I'm supposed to go on a tour of Grand Central tomorrow with the big headhoncho, but I may cancel and just hide in my cubicle.
This chest cold is threatening to be annoying. Maybe it's just allergies?

Good news, is it is a short work week. I have Thursday and Friday off. So just have to somehow get through Monday through Wed.

Hamilton is playing in the background.

The lyrics feel ironic now. More so then they did in 2015, which is saying something I guess.

Particularly the Mad King's refrains.

I've considered getting tickets to see it live. But I'm not sure I can sit for three hours in those seats?

Slept fitfully at best. Sciatica down both legs was bothering me due to IBS issues. Doctor referred me to physical therapy - but there's little a physical therapist can do about a sciatica resulting from IBS and knee issues resulting from arthritis. (I should know - I've seen physical therapists five to six times, about every five years it seems, sometimes every two. Not even sure my insurance will cover it now.) I know which exercises to do. I have six different analgesic creams. No, my problem is IBS, which has pretty much always been my problem.

I feel this need, after being on various social media platforms this morning and yesterday, to remind folks to be mindful, to be kind, and just because they can walk about and march and protest, doesn't mean everyone can or feels capable of it. There's something about posting on the internet that brings the self-righteous bully out in folks? I get that we may to persuade everyone to join us? But be mindful that not everyone can do the same things.

Found this excellent piece of advice on Face Book:



Yesterday, while taking my walk at lunch - largely to walk out the sciatic nerve and cricks in my knees and legs - I stumbled upon a large crowd hollering and clapping and cheering in front of the Staten Island Ferry Terminal. This area attracts a lot of New York Street Performers - due to the fact that it is a large and for the most part unencumbered plaza.

So I found a portion of the crowd that was rather thin, and less rambunctious, and peer through the people to see what was happening. At the center of the crowd was a little girl, pale freckled skin, pink palsy shirt, and jeans, bent over and very still. Brownish blond hair sweeping down on either side of her face. She moved every once and a while, to lift her head. People were clapping near her, and there was a line of white men of varying sizes and ages lined up in her realm of vision - they may have been family members, most had beards, and were relatively young and sturdy and looked for the most part like tourists. Next to them was a man with dreadlocks, dark skin, and bright colored red and orange and black t-shirt and shorts, clapping and getting them to clap as well. As the crowd complied and clapped as well, cheering, music roared to life, and then another man in dreadlocks and a similar outfit, ran and did an acrobatic flip over the little girl's head.

I cringed, and walked away. Unsettled. I'm certain they wouldn't hit her - or come close. She's probably perfectly safe. But I found the whole thing oddly unsettling all the same.

Off to do stuff. Here's a picture:

CNN Aired An Exclusive Live Broadcast of the Broadway Play: Good Night and Good Luck - adapted for the stage from the film of the same name. The reason they aired it is made clear upon the airing - at the very end, Edward R Murrow, the CBS News See it Now broadcaster who famously took on McCarthy, during the Black List and McCarthy Hearings, stands front and center in front of a screen displaying multiple screens of the news. He states in a halting speech, enunciating each word, with a slight tremor to his voice, "we've seen what happens when power goes unchecked, that's not the question before us now, the question is - what will you do about it?"

I was thinking as I was watching it live on MAX (I no longer have access to CNN), that evil is like a spider, sitting in the dark corner of the room, smoking a cigar, wih a red top hat and tails smirking. And asking in a whisper of a voice, low and barely audible, "what do you want?" And indicating with a smile - "come into my parlor my dear and I shall give it to you, with a price of course".

It's insidious, and shadows egos. Self-importance. Self-righteousness. Power. Fame. Fortune. Wealth. Beware the righteous, and the self-important, and most of all the arrogant and narcissistic hunting awards and acknowledgment and power.

I don't know what I personally can do to check the power or stop it. I've been pondering it. I can write, I can post, I can draw, I can paint, I can do my job at a public agency. And I can hope people listen.

People aren't very good at listening? Have you noticed that? Too busy thinking about themselves or what they are going to say next or how they'll respond. Too filled up with thoughts to hear...ones that lie outside of their own minds and brains. I tell people a story and they tell me their own back again, and mine....slides off unheard, lost somehow within theirs? The meaning gone. And they tell me theirs and I tell them my own, and it happens all over again from the other side - with their story being lost.

I did social group therapy once - and we were for the most part forced to listen, but everyone tended to flounder at it. Either they'd ask pointed questions, correct the person's choice of words or syntax or speech (which isn't listening by the way - it's judging, and helps no one), interrupt, direct the conversation to themselves, provide advice, try to fix whatever it was, dismiss it as already solved or playing the victim, but seldom did they listen.

And once on a fan discussion board - we fell into a discussion about writing carefully, and I thought - no that's not the problem here or not that alone, we also need to learn how to read carefully. And people don't? Too busy reading quickly, flying through or past the text, to see it clearly let alone truly comprehend it? Now, for example, raise your hand if you just skimmed this passage and oh so many others? Be honest? How many have you skimmed, jumping over words and phrases and reacting to a sentence here or a paragraph there - but not seeing the whole? I know I do. Try a little experiment, if you will? Read just one paragraph of a post, or the unhidden bit. Then take a moment, and read the rest later, has your opinion of it changed?

We live in an age of content overload, and we surf and read and look at so many things simultaneously. Texts fly by. Our memory of them fleeting or garbled. And more often than not - people just read blurbs. If I post something with information below a "cut tag" - how many will read what's below the tag, and just respond to the top of the post? Losing the point of it. Or respond to the post, without reading the comments below? We don't read carefully - and most mistakes are made because of it. They were on the discussion boards. 90% of the arguments online are the result of "miscommunication" or the inability to politely ask for clarification prior to snarking, judging or condemning.

I think the flaw in the human brain is a tendency to assume everyone thinks the same and perceives things the same? When no one does? And well...a failure to communicate as a result?

**

You'll have to excuse me, I'm exhausted. But the weather is shifting, and I'm hurting less all of a sudden - which means the arthritis isn't being pinged by the human weather vane.

I'm also frustrated with my fellow humans. And perhaps with myself and my own limitations. And a touch depressed, no more than a touch, as a result. But hey at least I don't hurt as much as last night. So maybe the back brace is helping?

It's a warm spring evening. The sky has cleared of clouds, and it's sliding towards dark, from twilight. Nine PM on the East Coast. But I can still see puffs of cloud moving slowly across the pale blue sky, lit from within by moonlight. Our swiftly turning planet in the vacuum of space, surrounded by stars and galaxies which far too many of us take for granted as we bumble upon it babbling and gurgling at one another as is our way.