That fan thing
Aug. 13th, 2005 06:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatTo be honest, I've always been a little leery of identifying myself as a "fan" of anything. Not sure why. I think it's the fanatic aspect of the word that unnerves me. For you see - the obsessive aspect of myself is not one I like to stroke or endorse, so much as discourage. When I reacte obsessively to something, I start wondering why.
I'm thinking about this today due to three things I read. Two online - in scrollgirl and fresne's livejournals, where they kindly provided me with information on two of the huge fandom kerfuffles people on flist mentioned but provided vague info on, causing my curiousity hackles to rise. It's sort of like mentioning that there's a monster out there, but not providing any info on where, what it looks like and whether it hurt anyone. I'm find myself craning my neck going, what, where, how? Show me! If it weren't for scrollgirl and fresne, I would have remained perpetually at a loss, which might have been a good thing. Not sure. Not really sure why I'm so fascinated with weird fan behavior or social interaction - more so to be honest than the shows the behavior is associated with. The third, was an article in EW about Serenity - the up-coming Joss Whedon sci-fi. What was odd about the third, was that it was not a review or even a teaser so much as brief essay on how the film came about and how weird it was that it did. The essay did not show Whedon or the internet fans in the best light, in my opinion. But that might just be me.
Starting with third first - the writer notes in the Serenity article that the film is an oddity and a lot of heavy lifting was involved by Universal to sell it since the film is based on a "sci-fi Western in which cowboys giddyap on space frieghters, fire Winchesters, and curse so damned much. In Chinese. (In case you're wondering why Fox canceled the series after 11 low-rated epsidoes, now you know.)" [Heh. Okay that description is precisely one of the reasons I adored the series, because it was off-kilter and doing something off the beaten track. Completely non-formulae and innovative and hadn't been done before. You see shows like CSI and Law & ORder and Star-Gate bore me while shows like Firefly make me happy. I know I'm weird, but hey it does explain why I haven't seen any movies lately and am not watching TV tonight or most nights. Life would be so much easier if I liked the same things the majority did, wouldn't it?] The writer goes on to tell how Universal sold it by pre-screening it to Internet chatty fans. And since the reviews that popped up afterwards weren't bad - that helped.
Whedon meanwhile is described as being upset that he didn't get the tv show too. That he's experienced great loss in having the show cancelled early and how he can't handle loss well. "Nobody has felt more like Mal Reynolds than me" he quips in the interview. And I find myself wondering if this is how he reacted to Firefly being cancelled, how would he handle true loss? Which is silly, since he did lose his Mom. The article is written in a weird light - as if the writer is looking at Whedon and the fandom with a puzzeled snarky frown, not quite comprehending the appeal. The writer also focuses on how the fans got it made, the article in fact starts with: "There are several thousand reasons why the film Serenity is coming to a theater near you on Sept 30 and on this balmy San Diego evening in July, a couple hundred of them have just broken out in song. Some sport T-shirts that read JOSS WHEDON IS MY MASTER NOW. (Pop idolatry like this can happen when you make cult magnets like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel for a living.)" In short the writer hints if it weren't for these nutty fans there wouldn't be movie. We also get snatches of Whedon whining about how the film almost didn't get made, it got postponed, and the show was cancelled. Which is a little off-putting, considering how hard it is to get a successful tv series made or a movie, most people don't get the chance, most of Whedon's own writers have tried numerous times and haven't gotten more than a shot at being on someone else's ship. Read tightropegirl's journal for insight into this. It's sort of hard to feel much sympathy for Whedon - who is a millionaire, has a child, a wife, is writing two comic book series, and directing Wonder Woman. Plus had not one but two cult hit series. And an Oscar nomination for a script. Gee, I wish my life was that bad. But, but... as a friend told me recently the problem with worrying over what we haven't got or what we lost or envy is there will always be something.
What's most interesting about the essay though is how much the "fans" influenced the studio in getting the film made. And Whedon. Whedon mentions how he couldn't have done it without them, how they galvanized him. There's an odd symbiotic relationship being noted in the article. One that reminds me a bit of the one between some fanfic writers and readers or novelists and readers, or what that one poster who wanted her fans to pay her, may or may not have expected or been relying on. It's a quirky unnerving relationship. As my pal Wales would say people like their pacifiers, they want someone to give one to them and when it's taken away, they get upset. Life is hard (god do I know it) and things like Firefly do make it easier to bear. Please don't take that away. Helps that that is in essence Firefly's theme song. The fans rallied and Universal being a little more savvy then Fox, used it to their advantage. But symbiotic relationships can be spooky...you wonder after a bit what happens when the symbiot is removed? What then? Do people float to the next? Why won't they create their own pacifier, their own system? Why do we need to worship at someone's altar? The writer of the article seems perplexed and bemused by the relationship, hinting at these questions between the lines.
What hits me as odd and unnerving about all this is two things: 1) the worship of a writer. Devoted. Uncritical at times. As if one is praying. And the emotional defense of that writer. (I love Firefly, do not misunderstand me. One of my favorite shows. And I enjoy Whedon's writing, one of my favorite writers. But I do not for a moment see the guy as god's gift to the universe. He's just a poor slob making a living doing what he loves. Which I admittedly envy a bit, but also admire. That's it.)That symbiotic almost parasitic obession, as if Whedon can do no wrong, his writing is perfect, no one comes close...
2) how pop culture works...that weird mob mentality thing...how we flock to writers like Whedon, Stephen King, Ann Rice, JK Rowlings and they become royalty holding court?
As an aside, completely off topic - and a response to the essay and other comments I've seen online: The weird thing for me about Firefly is the very reasons some people had troubles with it, was why I loved it.
I adore Westerns. Love shows that deal with gritty, dark, somewhat anti-heroic grubby characters. Ensemble pieces. Serials. And tackle the day to day problems. Not into solving a murder or giving me a bunch of misinformation about some complicated criminal or medical procedure. But just plain stories about a character struggling to make shit work. Don't really care much about the science in sci-fi, never did, just care about the characters and social/psychological implications of the science. Don't tell me how the machine works - tell me how it will effect us.
Moving onwards...the next two items were the one about the fanfic writer who wanted people to donate money to her so she could take a year off to write a novel and fanfic. If you want to read more of my fanfic, pay me!
Which amused me and depressed me simulataneously. I felt for the poor dear. Who clearly knows zip about copyright law, but then copyright law is confusing. But the gist? What she aimed to do is illegal. Fox would have sued her pants off. What is depressing, is I must admit that I'd rather see some of the fanfic writers I've read online get paid than writers such as Christopher Golden(?) and Nancy Holder who I find unreadable. The few times I've thumbed through their Buffy/Angel novels in Barnes and Noble, I've wondered who at Fox is approving these guys and this person should be fired. There is by the way a job - I know I applied for one at Nickolodean three or four years ago - which involves nothing but reading book proposals and manuscripts of proposed books involving characters from TV shows owned by the network. What the person basically does is compare the network's guidelines regarding the plot, character, and usage to the manuscripts and proposals. If the manuscript/proposal shows the characters and universe that the network owns the rights to in a light that the network believes is true to it's vision and furthers that vision's financial and marketing gain, then it gets greenlighted. Please note quality isn't an issue. These people aren't English Lit Majors or Critics, they are MARKETING/ADVERTISING people - they are interested in maintaining the integrity of their brandname which when I interviewed for a job was Jimmy Neutron. For Fox? It is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They want a "wholesome" product for a family oriented audience, not controversial, but simple, and that teens can read. So it is not entirely Holders or Golden's fault that they write crappy books, as it is the marketing department at Fox. Whenever I see anything with a "marketing seal of approval" or "created by marketing people", I run for the hills - because baby, you know it's all about fluff and 0 substance. But, people buy fluff if you know how to sell it, it's all about the presentation.(This I say after taking Marketing courses, doing marketing, and interacting with more than my fair share of marketing folks.)
At any rate one of the things I liked about fanfic, when I discovered it in 2001 was how creative it was, often more creative and innovative than the original creation (story-wise guys not universe and characters - which is damn creative),since it did not have to get anyone's seal of approval. No holds barred creativity. Granted some of it tends to be pretty formulaic in places, but there's creativity there. You are watching people play. And who amongst us doesn't wish and dream we could be paid to play? It's why we envy baseball players and tv/comic book writers we think they are playing - because they do for a living what we do in our spare time. Our play is their work. Which is possibly why people got so angry at the girl for asking for money for fanfic - she was doing what everyone out there has secretly wanted to do but known they can't. She acted on that dark wish. And people tend to reacte very badly when someone does that. It's almost as if through punishing that person, you are punishing yourself for wishing it - stomping it out, just in case you give in. That and trying to give some credibility to the idea that it is okay to play without getting paid for it. That you don't need money for this.
What was unnerving about reading it - was the reaction. The reaction to the article - I read the article on it, not the post, the post went bye-bye. As well as the reaction to the post. 425 flames? Why so many? Why did everyone feel the need to scream at her? Why in mass? Almost like a mob. Same thing on discussion boards - I've been both the recipient of flames and the reason someone got flamed - ie. they attacked me and people rushed to my defense. Both times were unnerving experiences. Both times, looking back, I'm embarrassed to think of them. Thinking, okay, crazy. Just as the people looking at the article about, including the writer of the article, thought, okay this is crazy. Cult Fans are nuts. But is it and are they? Sports fans do it. All the time. Heck there have been riots at football matches in Europe - or soccer as we call it here in the States. To the best of my knowledge Buffy fans have not tried to kill each other in person. But I've seen baseball fans throw things at people. Beware of angry baseball fans. You do not for instance mention the MEts or Red Sox in the vicinity of Yankee Stadium in a nice light and expect to get out intact. (Never understood the passion there, saw it in KC too with the Chiefs and Royals, even more so actually - since KC is more of "sports" town in some ways than NYC is. Possibly because it doesn't have enough other distractions?)Same with politics - people get so violent. Wales can't talk to her older sister and brother about Bush without getting into screaming fights, they love him, she hates him. What is that? Why?
Which brings me to the other kerfuffle the one where a poor poster wrote a long essay about Spuffy traumatizing the fandom. Which I find amusing. a) That anyone would be traumatized by a fictional relationship on a tv show no less and b) that they would take it seriously enough to think it was a judgment on their personal life.
Why do they care what a bunch of TV writers think? We are talking Television writers remember. Not psychologists, not counselors, not teachers, not political leaders, not literary writers, but a bunch of folks who write a script in under 15 hours maybe a week tops, film it in two weeks time, forget it, go to the next, and pray the advertisers stick with them and the network picks up the show for season 2. While they may be interested in getting across a message - this ain't church or school - they want to entertain. They want to keep your interest. They worship the ratings god. It's a miracle if what comes out in the short space the film is good. Plus on TV - you have to keep characters at odd a bit, especially in serials, you can't have happy romantic relationships - people get bored and drift elsewhere. This ME discovered early on in S1, S2, and S3 - when Buffy and Angel were happy and smooching, the ratings dived, when Angelus appeared and they were at odds?
The ratings took off and spiked. The other thing important to TV writers is how far they can push the envelope, how much can they get away with - we're talking creative people here under the iron hand of marketing folks and network execs - they've got to have their fun.
That said, I do find a certain human behavior trait interesting and perplexing. I don't get it. And that trait is the savoir complex. Why are people, male and female, attracted to people that they feel need saving? It's not a gender specific trait. There are men and women who are continuously attracted to people who should not be in relationships. Men who go for needy, crazy, vulnerable women. Women who go for criminals or bad boys. A friend was telling me about a nurse who had gotten involved with a serial killer that was on the news. She thought she could save him. Then there's the stories I constantly hear about the guy who falls for and marries the needy, half nutty girl - have two cousins who did this. All three relationships? Bad news. You can't save or change anyone in this world - people have to save and change themselves. You can help, support, advise, be there - but you can't do it. I thought BTVS actually did a decent job of getting that across in all its relationships. Every single one attacked that theme. Xander and Anya - Anya had to figure out Anya - she even tells Xander, you can't save me Xander, I have to do that myself. Stop trying. Willow and Tara - Tara leaves Willow because she realizes she can't change or save Willow, Willow must do it. OZ leaves Willow because he realizes Willow can't save or change him, he has to. Spike goes and gets the soul because he realizes Buffy can't make him better and his love for her can't. Spike lets Buffy go, once he gets his soul, at the end of S7 and in Angel S5, because he knows he has to find himself first. Buffy lets Spike and Angel go because she has to figure out who she is, she knows they can't save her. She saves herself. She has help, sure, but she must do the heavy lifting. The confusion I think is - the either/or. People like extremes, I think. It's sort of like what my gastrointestinologist said - it's simpler, easier if you do all or nothing - the black and white. Navigating gray is tough. It's either one thing or the other. What we can't quite wrap our heads around is the fact that it can possibly be both.
While no one can save you or change you - this does not mean you are alone or you have to do it alone. You can get help. The writers of BTVs, somewhat clunkily perhaps depends on pov, did show that in the final season of the show - that struggle for balance, that struggle to let others help, but also at the same time, not depend solely on them. Buffy shares her power - so each girl can choose to save herself, they are not victims, they do not need to be saved from their metaphorical demons - she's made it possible for them to save themselves and help others figure it out as well. She's shared knowledge and support. The difference between 7 and 6 - is in 6 you have people trying to save or change someone - inflicting control, and in 7 you have people trying to cooperate, to work together, to assist, support, not save. It's hard to wrap one's head around, but since my life metaphorically speaking follows a similar analogy right now...I identify and see it. I've had to learn how to accept help, how to save myself, but also let others help me, without expecting them to "save" me or wave the magic wand making everything honky dorey. In S2 BTVS -Buffy saved herself, no help (in her mind, she had it, but she did not see it, in her mind she was alone), in S7 - She still saves herself from the demons, but she realizes and sees the help, she accepts the support. It is the difference between the independent "I" and the interdependent "we". One is less mature than another. And the story was in a nutshell about reaching maturity, moving from dependence (Buffy in S1) to independence (s2-5) to interdependence (5-7).
Hmmm...well that was a ramble and not sure where I ended had much to do with where I started and now my arm is numb. So will stop. Make of it what you will. Also unedited and unproofed - hard to do that on this machine and plus, hands numb. Must get off. Feeling very weird physically...sort of tired and like I need to drink lots of water.
PS: Thank you to the anynomous friend who gave me two months paid lj. Don't know what to do with the two months paid lj, but appreciate the thought!
I'm thinking about this today due to three things I read. Two online - in scrollgirl and fresne's livejournals, where they kindly provided me with information on two of the huge fandom kerfuffles people on flist mentioned but provided vague info on, causing my curiousity hackles to rise. It's sort of like mentioning that there's a monster out there, but not providing any info on where, what it looks like and whether it hurt anyone. I'm find myself craning my neck going, what, where, how? Show me! If it weren't for scrollgirl and fresne, I would have remained perpetually at a loss, which might have been a good thing. Not sure. Not really sure why I'm so fascinated with weird fan behavior or social interaction - more so to be honest than the shows the behavior is associated with. The third, was an article in EW about Serenity - the up-coming Joss Whedon sci-fi. What was odd about the third, was that it was not a review or even a teaser so much as brief essay on how the film came about and how weird it was that it did. The essay did not show Whedon or the internet fans in the best light, in my opinion. But that might just be me.
Starting with third first - the writer notes in the Serenity article that the film is an oddity and a lot of heavy lifting was involved by Universal to sell it since the film is based on a "sci-fi Western in which cowboys giddyap on space frieghters, fire Winchesters, and curse so damned much. In Chinese. (In case you're wondering why Fox canceled the series after 11 low-rated epsidoes, now you know.)" [Heh. Okay that description is precisely one of the reasons I adored the series, because it was off-kilter and doing something off the beaten track. Completely non-formulae and innovative and hadn't been done before. You see shows like CSI and Law & ORder and Star-Gate bore me while shows like Firefly make me happy. I know I'm weird, but hey it does explain why I haven't seen any movies lately and am not watching TV tonight or most nights. Life would be so much easier if I liked the same things the majority did, wouldn't it?] The writer goes on to tell how Universal sold it by pre-screening it to Internet chatty fans. And since the reviews that popped up afterwards weren't bad - that helped.
Whedon meanwhile is described as being upset that he didn't get the tv show too. That he's experienced great loss in having the show cancelled early and how he can't handle loss well. "Nobody has felt more like Mal Reynolds than me" he quips in the interview. And I find myself wondering if this is how he reacted to Firefly being cancelled, how would he handle true loss? Which is silly, since he did lose his Mom. The article is written in a weird light - as if the writer is looking at Whedon and the fandom with a puzzeled snarky frown, not quite comprehending the appeal. The writer also focuses on how the fans got it made, the article in fact starts with: "There are several thousand reasons why the film Serenity is coming to a theater near you on Sept 30 and on this balmy San Diego evening in July, a couple hundred of them have just broken out in song. Some sport T-shirts that read JOSS WHEDON IS MY MASTER NOW. (Pop idolatry like this can happen when you make cult magnets like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel for a living.)" In short the writer hints if it weren't for these nutty fans there wouldn't be movie. We also get snatches of Whedon whining about how the film almost didn't get made, it got postponed, and the show was cancelled. Which is a little off-putting, considering how hard it is to get a successful tv series made or a movie, most people don't get the chance, most of Whedon's own writers have tried numerous times and haven't gotten more than a shot at being on someone else's ship. Read tightropegirl's journal for insight into this. It's sort of hard to feel much sympathy for Whedon - who is a millionaire, has a child, a wife, is writing two comic book series, and directing Wonder Woman. Plus had not one but two cult hit series. And an Oscar nomination for a script. Gee, I wish my life was that bad. But, but... as a friend told me recently the problem with worrying over what we haven't got or what we lost or envy is there will always be something.
What's most interesting about the essay though is how much the "fans" influenced the studio in getting the film made. And Whedon. Whedon mentions how he couldn't have done it without them, how they galvanized him. There's an odd symbiotic relationship being noted in the article. One that reminds me a bit of the one between some fanfic writers and readers or novelists and readers, or what that one poster who wanted her fans to pay her, may or may not have expected or been relying on. It's a quirky unnerving relationship. As my pal Wales would say people like their pacifiers, they want someone to give one to them and when it's taken away, they get upset. Life is hard (god do I know it) and things like Firefly do make it easier to bear. Please don't take that away. Helps that that is in essence Firefly's theme song. The fans rallied and Universal being a little more savvy then Fox, used it to their advantage. But symbiotic relationships can be spooky...you wonder after a bit what happens when the symbiot is removed? What then? Do people float to the next? Why won't they create their own pacifier, their own system? Why do we need to worship at someone's altar? The writer of the article seems perplexed and bemused by the relationship, hinting at these questions between the lines.
What hits me as odd and unnerving about all this is two things: 1) the worship of a writer. Devoted. Uncritical at times. As if one is praying. And the emotional defense of that writer. (I love Firefly, do not misunderstand me. One of my favorite shows. And I enjoy Whedon's writing, one of my favorite writers. But I do not for a moment see the guy as god's gift to the universe. He's just a poor slob making a living doing what he loves. Which I admittedly envy a bit, but also admire. That's it.)That symbiotic almost parasitic obession, as if Whedon can do no wrong, his writing is perfect, no one comes close...
2) how pop culture works...that weird mob mentality thing...how we flock to writers like Whedon, Stephen King, Ann Rice, JK Rowlings and they become royalty holding court?
As an aside, completely off topic - and a response to the essay and other comments I've seen online: The weird thing for me about Firefly is the very reasons some people had troubles with it, was why I loved it.
I adore Westerns. Love shows that deal with gritty, dark, somewhat anti-heroic grubby characters. Ensemble pieces. Serials. And tackle the day to day problems. Not into solving a murder or giving me a bunch of misinformation about some complicated criminal or medical procedure. But just plain stories about a character struggling to make shit work. Don't really care much about the science in sci-fi, never did, just care about the characters and social/psychological implications of the science. Don't tell me how the machine works - tell me how it will effect us.
Moving onwards...the next two items were the one about the fanfic writer who wanted people to donate money to her so she could take a year off to write a novel and fanfic. If you want to read more of my fanfic, pay me!
Which amused me and depressed me simulataneously. I felt for the poor dear. Who clearly knows zip about copyright law, but then copyright law is confusing. But the gist? What she aimed to do is illegal. Fox would have sued her pants off. What is depressing, is I must admit that I'd rather see some of the fanfic writers I've read online get paid than writers such as Christopher Golden(?) and Nancy Holder who I find unreadable. The few times I've thumbed through their Buffy/Angel novels in Barnes and Noble, I've wondered who at Fox is approving these guys and this person should be fired. There is by the way a job - I know I applied for one at Nickolodean three or four years ago - which involves nothing but reading book proposals and manuscripts of proposed books involving characters from TV shows owned by the network. What the person basically does is compare the network's guidelines regarding the plot, character, and usage to the manuscripts and proposals. If the manuscript/proposal shows the characters and universe that the network owns the rights to in a light that the network believes is true to it's vision and furthers that vision's financial and marketing gain, then it gets greenlighted. Please note quality isn't an issue. These people aren't English Lit Majors or Critics, they are MARKETING/ADVERTISING people - they are interested in maintaining the integrity of their brandname which when I interviewed for a job was Jimmy Neutron. For Fox? It is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They want a "wholesome" product for a family oriented audience, not controversial, but simple, and that teens can read. So it is not entirely Holders or Golden's fault that they write crappy books, as it is the marketing department at Fox. Whenever I see anything with a "marketing seal of approval" or "created by marketing people", I run for the hills - because baby, you know it's all about fluff and 0 substance. But, people buy fluff if you know how to sell it, it's all about the presentation.(This I say after taking Marketing courses, doing marketing, and interacting with more than my fair share of marketing folks.)
At any rate one of the things I liked about fanfic, when I discovered it in 2001 was how creative it was, often more creative and innovative than the original creation (story-wise guys not universe and characters - which is damn creative),since it did not have to get anyone's seal of approval. No holds barred creativity. Granted some of it tends to be pretty formulaic in places, but there's creativity there. You are watching people play. And who amongst us doesn't wish and dream we could be paid to play? It's why we envy baseball players and tv/comic book writers we think they are playing - because they do for a living what we do in our spare time. Our play is their work. Which is possibly why people got so angry at the girl for asking for money for fanfic - she was doing what everyone out there has secretly wanted to do but known they can't. She acted on that dark wish. And people tend to reacte very badly when someone does that. It's almost as if through punishing that person, you are punishing yourself for wishing it - stomping it out, just in case you give in. That and trying to give some credibility to the idea that it is okay to play without getting paid for it. That you don't need money for this.
What was unnerving about reading it - was the reaction. The reaction to the article - I read the article on it, not the post, the post went bye-bye. As well as the reaction to the post. 425 flames? Why so many? Why did everyone feel the need to scream at her? Why in mass? Almost like a mob. Same thing on discussion boards - I've been both the recipient of flames and the reason someone got flamed - ie. they attacked me and people rushed to my defense. Both times were unnerving experiences. Both times, looking back, I'm embarrassed to think of them. Thinking, okay, crazy. Just as the people looking at the article about, including the writer of the article, thought, okay this is crazy. Cult Fans are nuts. But is it and are they? Sports fans do it. All the time. Heck there have been riots at football matches in Europe - or soccer as we call it here in the States. To the best of my knowledge Buffy fans have not tried to kill each other in person. But I've seen baseball fans throw things at people. Beware of angry baseball fans. You do not for instance mention the MEts or Red Sox in the vicinity of Yankee Stadium in a nice light and expect to get out intact. (Never understood the passion there, saw it in KC too with the Chiefs and Royals, even more so actually - since KC is more of "sports" town in some ways than NYC is. Possibly because it doesn't have enough other distractions?)Same with politics - people get so violent. Wales can't talk to her older sister and brother about Bush without getting into screaming fights, they love him, she hates him. What is that? Why?
Which brings me to the other kerfuffle the one where a poor poster wrote a long essay about Spuffy traumatizing the fandom. Which I find amusing. a) That anyone would be traumatized by a fictional relationship on a tv show no less and b) that they would take it seriously enough to think it was a judgment on their personal life.
Why do they care what a bunch of TV writers think? We are talking Television writers remember. Not psychologists, not counselors, not teachers, not political leaders, not literary writers, but a bunch of folks who write a script in under 15 hours maybe a week tops, film it in two weeks time, forget it, go to the next, and pray the advertisers stick with them and the network picks up the show for season 2. While they may be interested in getting across a message - this ain't church or school - they want to entertain. They want to keep your interest. They worship the ratings god. It's a miracle if what comes out in the short space the film is good. Plus on TV - you have to keep characters at odd a bit, especially in serials, you can't have happy romantic relationships - people get bored and drift elsewhere. This ME discovered early on in S1, S2, and S3 - when Buffy and Angel were happy and smooching, the ratings dived, when Angelus appeared and they were at odds?
The ratings took off and spiked. The other thing important to TV writers is how far they can push the envelope, how much can they get away with - we're talking creative people here under the iron hand of marketing folks and network execs - they've got to have their fun.
That said, I do find a certain human behavior trait interesting and perplexing. I don't get it. And that trait is the savoir complex. Why are people, male and female, attracted to people that they feel need saving? It's not a gender specific trait. There are men and women who are continuously attracted to people who should not be in relationships. Men who go for needy, crazy, vulnerable women. Women who go for criminals or bad boys. A friend was telling me about a nurse who had gotten involved with a serial killer that was on the news. She thought she could save him. Then there's the stories I constantly hear about the guy who falls for and marries the needy, half nutty girl - have two cousins who did this. All three relationships? Bad news. You can't save or change anyone in this world - people have to save and change themselves. You can help, support, advise, be there - but you can't do it. I thought BTVS actually did a decent job of getting that across in all its relationships. Every single one attacked that theme. Xander and Anya - Anya had to figure out Anya - she even tells Xander, you can't save me Xander, I have to do that myself. Stop trying. Willow and Tara - Tara leaves Willow because she realizes she can't change or save Willow, Willow must do it. OZ leaves Willow because he realizes Willow can't save or change him, he has to. Spike goes and gets the soul because he realizes Buffy can't make him better and his love for her can't. Spike lets Buffy go, once he gets his soul, at the end of S7 and in Angel S5, because he knows he has to find himself first. Buffy lets Spike and Angel go because she has to figure out who she is, she knows they can't save her. She saves herself. She has help, sure, but she must do the heavy lifting. The confusion I think is - the either/or. People like extremes, I think. It's sort of like what my gastrointestinologist said - it's simpler, easier if you do all or nothing - the black and white. Navigating gray is tough. It's either one thing or the other. What we can't quite wrap our heads around is the fact that it can possibly be both.
While no one can save you or change you - this does not mean you are alone or you have to do it alone. You can get help. The writers of BTVs, somewhat clunkily perhaps depends on pov, did show that in the final season of the show - that struggle for balance, that struggle to let others help, but also at the same time, not depend solely on them. Buffy shares her power - so each girl can choose to save herself, they are not victims, they do not need to be saved from their metaphorical demons - she's made it possible for them to save themselves and help others figure it out as well. She's shared knowledge and support. The difference between 7 and 6 - is in 6 you have people trying to save or change someone - inflicting control, and in 7 you have people trying to cooperate, to work together, to assist, support, not save. It's hard to wrap one's head around, but since my life metaphorically speaking follows a similar analogy right now...I identify and see it. I've had to learn how to accept help, how to save myself, but also let others help me, without expecting them to "save" me or wave the magic wand making everything honky dorey. In S2 BTVS -Buffy saved herself, no help (in her mind, she had it, but she did not see it, in her mind she was alone), in S7 - She still saves herself from the demons, but she realizes and sees the help, she accepts the support. It is the difference between the independent "I" and the interdependent "we". One is less mature than another. And the story was in a nutshell about reaching maturity, moving from dependence (Buffy in S1) to independence (s2-5) to interdependence (5-7).
Hmmm...well that was a ramble and not sure where I ended had much to do with where I started and now my arm is numb. So will stop. Make of it what you will. Also unedited and unproofed - hard to do that on this machine and plus, hands numb. Must get off. Feeling very weird physically...sort of tired and like I need to drink lots of water.
PS: Thank you to the anynomous friend who gave me two months paid lj. Don't know what to do with the two months paid lj, but appreciate the thought!
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Date: 2005-08-14 05:02 pm (UTC)