Spontaneous Musings

Well, today's accomplishments included getting my two robot vacuums to work. So, I now have a black and white robot vacuum - I got the white I-Life one - because I was having issues with the black one. But once it arrived the black one was working again. Then today, couldn't get either to work.

One apparently needed the bin to be cleaned and re-inserted. The other? I just needed to turn on. I went to youtube and discovered it had an on/off switch.

I've named Spike and Buffy. They get along pretty well considering.

Other accomplishments?

As I've been promising for the last two months, I finally set up my little art space/studio in my apartment. Basically, I converted my remote from home work station to an art/painting station, since I can't work remotely any longer. I'd actually bought the desk for artwork - so I'm happy about that. And now I have an easel set up, which can store my paints.

See picture below:



Even started on the sunflower. It's not great. But if you consider that the last time I painted or drew anything at all was approximately eight years ago? It was sometime in 2014 or 2015? I can't remember. In short, I'm a tad rusty. Drawing and painting are like any skill - practice makes perfect.
Although it is in some results a trained mental muscle.

I've always been good at art or so I've been told by various art teachers (I've taken a lot of courses on art throughout school and post school, also outside school). One in college told me that she wished she'd gotten me earlier. (I waited until my senior year to take an art course, while my freshman roommate majored in art - she became a financial advisor and has self-published three books now, one on finances, and two that are a series of historical novellas.) I'm an intuitive artist. Not a commercial artist. Freshman roommate was more of a commercial artist.

I don't like commercial art - never have. Also don't like commercial writing - tends to bore me. I don't do paint or write on demand or by numbers well. Never could color within the lines. It's not how I think. Nothing wrong with it - just not how I think is all.

The rusty bit - also a result of the fact that I couldn't get my hands to stop shaking today. I don't know why. Tremor was just worse today than usual.

The other accomplishment?

I made a low-carb/low-sugar gluten-free chocolate mousse pie. The only sweetner is a teaspoon of maple syrup, and fruit. Maybe a little sugar in the semi-sweet chocolate chips that I melted and the gluten free graham craker crust.

Ingredients:
( Read more... )
See picture below:



The difficulty is that blood sugar is still higher than I'd like it to be. ( health crap )

***

Still watching Peaky Blinders - which evolves as the seasons progress. The characters change, as does the setting, attire, and problems.
It does a good job of getting across the time period from 1919 to 1930 in Britain. Also, focuses on the lesser known Birmingham, and Northern England. Along with the issues with Ireland, Belfast, and the IRA conflict during that period.

It is an anti-hero series. And it's violent, albeit not as violent as Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, or House of Dragon. More in lines with The Sopranoes and The Godfather. People get shot, people get beaten up.
Sexual violence is implied not shown, and there's not much of it.

I like the fact that it doesn't romanticize the anti-heroes. You know they are anti-heroes. There's no question about that.

It's well-written. I find myself re-winding a lot for the dialogue. I got the close-captioning on. Also, the acting is top notch. Not a weak link in the bunch.

I'm on S5, which is a bit bleaker than the previous seasons, possibly because it starts with the stock market crash. S4 is possibly the least bleak or the most satisfying.

***

Stumbled across an announcement that James Marsters attended the premier of Sarah Michelle Gellar's Wolf Pack in support of the actress, and walked the red carpet with her, along with her husband and co-stars.

The announcement also mentioned the toxic work environment on Buffy. I'm fascinated by stories of toxic work environments, because I've been in so many myself and am in one now. Misery loves company and all that.

From what I've been able to piece together from Gellar's interviews which all reference it now - is that Gellar doesn't much like talking about it. And kind of talks around it. Understandable - it's difficult to prove that sort of thing even when its going on. People are terrified to speak up, and the bullies have a tendency to be kind and nice to people who either aren't working directly for them, or that they like. So there's also quite a bit of gaslighting. And enabling. Go into any hostile work environment, and I guarantee you'll find folks defending the bullies, and telling you that the employee is to blame. Or it's in their head. They are also very good at finding scapegoats. Fighting these assholes is close to impossible in our society. Like it or not - we live in a society that enables and rewards bullies.

But when pressed does mention it - kind of vaguely. She's tough, and has been accused of bad behavior herself - so, that's part of the reason. What she has said is that - she felt it was important to put 100 percent of herself into it, and didn't understand why others didn't feel the same way. And discovered later that may have been a mistake - since she got burned out, early on. Also that, she got into trouble for standing up for the cast and crew - and shutting things down after 15 hours. "We promised 13, it's been 15 hours, we're done for the day. I'm going home." Having watched the out-takes, I believe that. They went way beyond what other series do in regards to takes. Most do five takes per scene, maybe ten. Buffy did thirty. I got bored watching it. I mean they literally redid each line about fifteen to twenty times. Until everything was perfect lighting, camera, etc. That's brutal. I'm surprised they got away with it. Fox, WB and UPN clearly was letting Whedon do whatever he damn well pleased.

According to the Hollywood Reporter - Gellar's husband is less vague, as is Seth Green, and others.
( Read more... )

This does clarify a few misrepresentations in the press at the time the show was airing. During 1997-2003, Gellar was portrayed as the Diva on Buffy, and the main problem. Whedon loosely stated that he was used to it - he had to deal with Roseanne. And Hannigan had alluded to it. As had others. She was blamed for Buffy ending in S7. Whedon was praised in the fandom, and Gellar got a lot of backlash. Typical bully behavior - as a friend told me recently, when I describing bullying behavior at work - they want to control the narrative. Whedon worked hard to control the narrative.
And people tend to see and believe what they want to see and believe.

But there were always signs. There always are. If you look closely enough.

However, I like how Gellar chose to deal with it now. Which is to state, "this happened in the past. I learned from it. Dwelling on it - gains me nothing. Talking about it - solves nothing. I'm proud of the work I did, the work the cast did, and the show we created. We can be proud of that, without condoning the toxic work environment that produced it. And I've moved on, incorporating the lessons I learned from that time period and ensuring it doesn't happen again on my watch."

What's interesting, albeit not surprising, is that both Gellar and Marsters have stated separately that they can't re-watch most of S6 and S7. ( Read more... )

I give her a lot of credit for all of that. (And I wouldn't call myself a fan of Gellar's by any stretch of the imagination.) But what she's doing isn't easy in that business. It means turning down certain jobs, and not getting others. Also, it's easier said than done. I will state, I'm doing the same thing - I'm incorporating the lessons learned from previous experiences. And not staying silent when bullied. And supporting others who are bullied in the work force.

***

Anyhow, off to bed. Hope your Saturday or what's left of it was uneventful and peaceful.

Took the day off - for a doctor's appointment. I thought it was the annual physical, but apparently just a follow-up. Didn't matter - had to give the blood and urine samples anyhow.

Didn't feel great this morning - but nothing to worry the doctor over. I think it was the shift in barometric pressure and IBS issues. (Which resulted in bowl issues - ( regarding bowl eruptions that you may not want to know about )

NYC on it's face appears to be a difficult place to find bathrooms in. Although most places are. ( finding a bathroom while out and about, when one desperately requires one... )

Also, a lot of television shows and books don't talk about bathrooms. Actually 98% of them don't. In sci-fi, I ponder it. Granted we don't necessarily want to know. But I was admittedly impressed with the Expanse for showing it, not to mention Firefly, and I think BSG. Star Trek acts as if no one ever has to go. (Maybe they advanced past that point?) They are all wearing form fitting jump suits - making it difficult to go to the bathroom. I feel for the actors.

In addition to the above? There's the new movie out (Lost in the Jungle?) with Sandra Bullock who plays a romance novelist stuck in the Amazon Jungle with her cover model, and she's wearing a glittery jump suit, that you have to disrobe completely from in order to go to the bathroom. When I read the article - I thought, okay, why? She stated in the article that she didn't go to the bathroom very often - because she'd basically be naked in the jungle. (Sounds painful. I'm guessing she didn't eat or drink all that much during shooting?)

Apparently the costume designer or the director or both of this new film didn't much like Sandra Bullock? I mean the costume designer of Romancing the Stone was nicer to Kathleen Turner - she got to wear a shirt, skirt and high heels, that she chopped off. Also, her companion was an adventurer who could actually shoot a gun. Granted she did her own stunts, and got beaten up in the film, but hey, better outfit to go to the bathroom in. If I had to choose which film and heroine to get trapped in - I'd pick Turner's.

Yes, I think about these sort of things.

***

The doctor decided to prescribe me an expensive and not exactly easy to figure out - Glucose Level Reader. You get a 14 day supply, and it costs $69.58 or thereabouts. (Why it doesn't just cost $70 even, I don't know.)
I have a feeling I'm going to get the finger sticks.

This new thing - according to the directions, requires you to place the item on the back of your upper arm, then put the reader up to read it. It has a needle attached to it - so you push in the needle then pull it away, then put up the reader, and see the glucose level.

I'll let you know how it goes. It's pricey, so I don't see myself continuing with it.

Type 2 Diabetes is fun.

***

Decided the reason I'm feeling off today is definitely barometric pressure changes, sinuses and post nasal drip/gerd. Because I took tynenol sinus and it relieved some of it. Also have prescription dose pepcid (which is a lot cheaper than the over-the-counter version believe it or not - about a 90 day supply cost $10, when it normally costs $39-50).

Getting older means more pills to keep track of. Lovely.

**

Also managed amidst all of this - to get laundry done. I'd run out of socks again. Also the black jeans from the well...bowl issue described above, required washing. I washed them in the sink first, rinsed them out, and then put them in the washer for well obvious reasons.

Had a lengthy conversation with guy in the laundry room. Apparently he owns a house in Delaware with his partner, and is renting an apartment in the city due to work issues. He works in the city. But can't really afford a house here - it's cheaper in Delaware. I'd think owning a house, and renting an apartment in NYC would be expensive - but what do I know? The need to own a house or apartment is kind of lost on me. I know how much houses and apartments cost to maintain, I actually dealt with repair men while house-sitting my parents house. It's a lot cheaper and less stressful to rent particularly in New York - which has high property taxes. You just need to find a well-maintained complex, with a good super.

**

My appetite has been weird lately. The idea of red meat, lamb, beef, steak, hamburger, any of it - turns my stomach. I don't know why. I looked at it in the store today and was completely turned off. Also I can't stomach green beans at all. The mere idea of them makes me ill. What happened? Did I burn out on them finally? Wish I'd burn out on other things. Like Against the Grains Pizza?

While in direct contrast? I have been craving celery. I used to hate celery. Now I love it. I also love celery juice. WFT? My body is very odd.
I picked up a kosher gluten free chocolate cake roll from Molly's Bakery at the grocery store. It's apparently for passover. I considered getting the honey cake - but it was too big.

I've actually done Passover - with a college boyfriend in San Francisco (with his brother and his brother's family). ( Read more... )

Off to make dinner and lunch. Or attempt it any rate.

Except for me, 2020 didn't really begin until March 9. So it will be over on March 8. I go by my birthday. Works better that way - and guess what this year it kind of makes more sense than most. The roller-coaster ride won't be over until March, when the vaccine is more readily available and Trump and Republican party sail out of office for the most part to face State and International criminal investigations.

I'm baking today. I decided to see the year out on this crisp rainy day, by baking. I made a spinach, sharp cheddar, and fresh spinach quiche, and a pumpkin pie.

Tonight, I'm broiling a lobster tail filet mignon, and possibly having green beans and sweet potato. I don't think I can't do a lobster tail and a filet mignon. So saving the lobster tails for tomorrow night, perhaps. Or will flip them. [ETA - the lobster tails are still frozen because I bought them on Tuesday and put them in the freezer and forgot to take them out until 12 noon today.]

And I have cans of pink sparkling wine - Sofia, which I like. I don't like champagne and it does not like me - tends to give me a headache and gas.

Me: My vacation or staycation has gone by so quickly!
Mother: And you thought you'd be bored and struggle to find things to do..
Me: Apparently I have no problem doing nothing. I actually kind of enjoy just sitting and watching television shows, playing on the internet, working on my writing, taking long walks around a cemetery, and talking on the phone or watching stuff on Zoom. This is not a problem for me at all. It was very relaxing.
Mother: And you were so worried.
Me: I should have known better. I'm well-suited to this actually. I like routine. I don't need to busy. It's other people who make me feel that I have to be busy, silly people.

Also sleeping until 9, and staying up until 12:30, probably helps.

A found farewell to the rollercoaster ride that was 2020 - here's to 2021, which will hopefully be less topsy-turvy.

Found this to be an interesting analysis of what's been happening politically since well the 1980s..ie, the Regan era or the era of pronounced individualism.

Heather Richardson Cox is a Political Historian who sums it up as follows:
( excerpt )

Here's photos of my quiche and new garden..







Unfortunately, no lobster tails tonight, will have to be for new year's day. Since they aren't fully defrosted yet. That's all right. I'll have filet mignon instead.

Per the NY Times briefing:

As of this writing, 2021 has already arrived in much of the world, from a New Zealand free of the coronavirus to an England in lockdown.

In most cities, there are no roaring crowds, no gatherings for fireworks shows and, let’s hope, no strangers kissing at midnight. But people around the world are still toasting the start of the New Year. Here’s our live coverage.

In Australia, a fireworks show went on as usual. Big Ben, long silent while under renovation, chimed at midnight, as Britain left the European Union. The ball will still drop in Times Square.

Good news?

And on Friday, 20 states and 32 cities and counties will raise their minimum wage, which will reach or exceed $15 an hour in 27 of them. More places will join them later in 2021, bringing what was once a fringe idea into widespread reality.

Here's hoping for a better 2021.

1. So, I've had a day. Which wasn't helped by being soaked by the deluge on the way home. It was pouring so hard, that after two blocks, having an umbrella didn't appear to matter. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

2. Currently reading..(I'll look it up for you) The Cooking Gene: A Journey Through African-American Culinary History in the Old South by Michael W. Twitty

It's basically a memoir by an gay African-American chef -- who explores his African-American ancestory and heritage through cooking. So part cookbook, part memoir.

I'm about 20% in -- or 50 pages.

Reading it has made me think about my own cooking or culinary heritage such as it is. Mainly the writer makes the assumption that we all have one, or all African-Americans can trace theirs through it. (I beg to differ, I happen to know a lot of African-Americans who do not cook nor want to. What is about human beings that we have a tendency to think everyone shares our views, perspective, and skill or tastes? )
( Read more... )

It's strange but in my fifties, I'm beginning to see myself and others more clearly somehow. And I'm less concerned that others share or even understand my skills or tastes. It's as if I no longer feel the need for approval or validation. Or care.
It's weirdly freeing.

For instance, I realized recently that I don't enjoy cooking that much. ( Read more... )

3. Finished Powers of X #2 by Jonathan Hickman and RB Silva. The art, once again, is quite good. But there is an awful lot of expository world-building and hard science fiction detail in this book. It feels at times like reading Doris Lessing's Sci-Fi Opus.. Canopus in Argos which I couldn't get through. This is just a comic and breaks things up a bit. Canopus in Argos was a huge book...and pages and pages of it.

There's a nifty pair of quotes at the end of the comic -

Stan Lee - February 1969 - " Where do you nuts get your ideas?" " That question is asked of Yours Truly at lectures, interviews, and bull sessions more often than any other..... The point is, ideas are no problem. Here in the Bullpen, we can't talk to each other for five minutes without coming up with a zillion new thoughts and angles. The big hangup is getting the time to develop the ideas...to polish them and refine them until we feel they'll have maximum impact -- until we know they'll be an integral part of the ubiquuitous Marvel universe! Everyone has ideas -- you, I, the gang in the mail room- even our competitors, bless-em. What really counts is what you DO with them. We believe that almost any idea can be worthwhile if it's presented with integrity, taste, and imagination. For, an idea is like a guitar -- it doesn't mean a thing unless you know how to use it!"

This is followed by the quote: " You must see by now,there is no you and I, there is only us. We are together, or we are nothing." - Xavier


I had to read several bits twice. ( Read more... )

Watching Carousel in the background - forgot what a dark musical that is. The darkest of the Rodgers and Hammerstein oeuvre. It's about a Carousel barker who falls in love with a lovely gal in New England. He gets killed and goes to heaven. And is sent back to help his daughter whose in trouble. But before that happens, he has to tell his story to the star keeper in heaven who is responsible sending him back. In the story, we learn that he was abusive to his pregnant wife, stole, and didn't really work. He comes back to help his daughter who was hurt much like he was and could go down his path. It's a disturbing musical...on a lot of levels, that I hadn't noticed before. I'm willing to bet that one out of three women have either experienced physical or emotional abuse from a boyfriend or father or husband or male boss/teacher etc. Two of my great-grandmothers - one on my father's side, and one on my mother's were beaten to death by their husbands (my great-grandfathers). At least two aunts were either emotionally or physically abused by theirs. And I've heard the excuses. They are all the same. Usually out of anger. Or their own fathers were like this. Or lack of control. I think it's about power mostly...and having none, so they struck out. But it does not excuse it.

Our media gives us mixed messages...as if we ourselves can't quite decide. Is it okay to use violence to resolve our problems? Is it ever okay? And if not, why do we feel compelled or satisfied when we see it resolved in this manner either in a video game or tv show or a film?

Also watched Life on tv this weekend...it's reassuring in that it shows violence exists in nature as well. Perhaps the desire to resolve issues with violence is in the DNA. It is deeply embedded in our genetic code. Animals kill, fight, and chase each other and other animals. Insects do as well. Nature is extraordinarily violent, yet beautiful in its violence, there's a grace to it that is difficult to describe. It reminds me of watching the Jerome Robbins dances from West Side Story, yet here we see the grace of the cheetah landing on the ostrich or the lizard grabbing a pray mantis with its tongue or a pair of birds doing a mating dance of joy across a pond.

( Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution )
( NYC's battle to eat healthy ...it is admittedly becoming a rather absurd one, depending on your point of view. )

Sigh. People bewilder me. Apparently mother nature did not deem it fit to give everyone common sense. And particularly not those of us who decide to become politicians.