Spontaneous Musings

[ETA: Upon re-reading, I've realized this post would have been a lot more effective if I didn't have so many typos. Going back to try and correct them now. Otherwise it is just really amusing. I laughed when I re-read it.]

Strained my back this weekend - severly enough that I was immobile on Saturday and completely off the computer. Put heat on everything and took "aleve" or naproxin, which helped greatly. Also did exercises. Will do some more shortly, and put more heat on everything.

I tend to be pretty laid back when comes to syntax and word choice, not to mention grammar. I seldom correct people. Mostly, because that would be hypocritical, considering how many mistakes I make. BUT there are two words that bug me in how they've been used or rather frightenly misused. This has been bugging me for the last six years now, ever since a rather dumb fan argument about misogyny on a fanboard - and I've been restraining myself from kicking people all that time. [Oh in case you are wondering, why I feel motivated to talk about this now - the urge sprung from a discussion with a close friend Sunday night, who proceeded to use both words wrong repeatedly. Ugh.]

Misogyny. It means "HATRED" of women. Not mere dislike, not frustration. Hatred. And it can be felt by any gender - it is no more gender specific than misanthropy. It does not mean patriarchial. Or controlling. Making love to a life-size female doll does not equal misogyny. Reading playboy magazines does not equal misogyny. Drawing women in skimpy bikinis is not misogyny. Trying to make a woman love you does not equal misogyny. Obsessive stalking is not misogyny. Hell date-rape does not always equal misogyny nor does rape for that matter. Anymore than killing and/or torturing a man equals misanthropy. The word loses its meaning if you overuse it or if you use it interchangably with patriarchial or patronizing or misuse it to mean anything that strikes you as creepy or negative in regards to how women are treated. When a man demeans a woman, or treats her like a child, a possession, a plaything, an object, or a doll - this is patronizing perhaps, but not misogyny. Spike and Angel are not misogynistic. They didn't hate women. They wanted to control and use women, not the same thing. Patronistic, perhaps. Dean and Sam on Supernatural are NOT misogynistic, chauvinistic, but not misogynistic - if they were they would not save women. Nor are the writers - or women would not be saved on the show and the mother would not have been shown in a positive manner. They are chauvinistic. Joss Whedon is not misogynistic - if he was he wouldn't have created Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He may however be a bit on the patronistic, controlling side or what we women like to call "chauvinistic" or male chauvinism - "the prejudiced belief in the superiority of one's own group". We live in a very chauvinistic society. I've experienced both, trust me, there is a difference. A rather big one. I can deal with chauvinistic behavior, misogyny, pure misogyny - not so much.

Jealousy. This does not mean coveting your neighbors goods. It does not mean wanting what someone else has. Nor does it mean wishing you had their sucess, their boyfriend, husband, wife or things. Jealousy - means that you are afraid they are going to take something you love away from you. Jealousy can arise from feelings of envy or bitterness in rivalry, but it is primarily about the fear of losing one's position or affection. In other words - Buffy is jealous of Willow's power - in that she is afraid Willow will take her position. But Willow is NOT jealous of Buffy's power, she is envious of it. Buffy is the one in power. Or Spike is jealous of Angel's relationship with Buffy or Angel is jealous of Spike's relationship with Buffy - both are possible. Xander is ENVIOUS of Spike/Angel's relationship with Buffy. Not jealous. He doesn't have the same relationship. You are envious of your friend's marriage. Your friend is jealous of your relationship with her husband. People tend to use these words interchangably, to the point in which I wonder if they know what they mean.

Off to bed. All bad-moody. I blame the period and the bad back. All around, icky day.