Spontaneous Musings

1. The difficulty about talking about certain things...is that everyone feels the need to relate them back to their own experience, when the truth is that some things just aren't relatable. Not everyone for example experiences sex the same way or has the same urges or the same fantasies or the same desires etc. Some people are monogamist -- they can only do it with one person, it has to be someone they love deeply and trust deeply, and have a commitment to -- otherwise it will not work. Others are more polygamist -- and can do it with a lot of different people, and love isn't an issue. And the spectrum in between. For some -- sex is a deeply intimate and personal thing, for others it's not.

Another example? Pain. There's been medical studies on this one. (There may be ones on sex too, I don't know, I haven't looked.)

(Correction, I did just look it up but alas, not a lot of links on sex...Did like this quote though from Planned Parenthood:

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* MRI Shows that People Feel Pain Differently
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* Brain imaging confirms that people experience pain differently

* Not Everyone Hurts the Same Way - LA Times

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I find it reassuring in a way to know this. And the gist? Yes we're different.

Moral: Don't compare yourself to other people. It's impossible and just makes you miserable.

2. 38 Wonderful Words With No English Equivalent

Hee.

Here's a sampling...of some of my favs. I particularly like Kummerspeck and Tartle.

( Excerpt )

3. Why You Never See Your Friends Any More

I doubt this is the reason, but it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one.

4. Why Office Worker Can't Sleep and Why That's Bad

Hardly surprising. Too much blue light and not enough sunlight. I have very little during the day at work. And everyone around me struggles with sleep as well. Meanwhile the work place keeps sending out safety advisories on getting enough sleep. I'd like to send them this article -- if you made it possible for everyone to get sunlight, and work more from home with flexible hours -- then you wouldn't have a problem.

Sort of hard to do for a huge organization.

5. Founders removal from office is not the only purpose of impeachment

Didn't much like the last post so deleted it. Have been wrestling with what to write in this thing lately. Find that I have lj writer's block. Or just overly self-conscious all of a sudden. (shrugs). So what do I do, I write the below and I keep it unlocked.

Thought about writing a post on Aeryn/Crichton relationship - which has got to be the best romantic relationship I've seen on tv. Sure it has its problems (tv after all) but, all in all, it works. And breaks/subverts a lot of tv rules in the process. The unwritten rule that the leads can't get together until the end of the series or sleep together. They not only sleep together in the first season, they comment on it, and it furthers their relationship. ( where I decide to do a summary post on the Aeryn/Crichton relationship against my better judgement )

Thought also about doing the Feminist Guide to TV, but this idea is chock-full of potential fail. First, not everyone defines feminism in the same way. Second, people don't particularly like other people telling them what tv shows are politically correct to watch. (I'll watch the bloody Bachelor if I want to, thank you very much (I don't, personally for a lot of reasons I will not bore you with.))

At any rate, I will list the tv shows that I am watching at the moment or have recently watched or loved that I consider Feminist. If a show you happen to love is not on this list and you know I watch it - it does not necessarily mean I don't think it is Feminist, I may have just forgotten its existence or haven't watched it recently so feel ill-qualified to state so. I may look like a walking television encyclopedia, but I'm really not - honest.

Before I do the list of Feminist TV Shows, will state that my definition of Feminism is equal rights for both genders, where women and men are treated equally. Both are villians and heroes. The TV show doesn't necessarily have to pass the Bechdel Test to be Feminist, if it does pass the test - I'll indicate it. Bechdel Test is basically when female characters talk to other female characters about things other than men, and there is more than one female character in the cast.

Feminist TV Shows - that I can think of and have recently watched within last two years.

*Rizzoli & Isles (passes Bechdel Test)
* The Closer
* In Plain Sight (passes Bechdel Test)
* The Good Wife (passes Bechdel Test)
* True Blood (passes Bechdel Test)
* Damages (passes Bechdel Test)
* Farscape (passes Bechdel Test)
* Buffy the Vampire Slayer (passes Bechdel Test)
* Vampire Diaries (passes Bechdel Test)
* Gossip Girl (passes Bechdel Test)
* Mad Men
* Dexter
* Brothers & Sisters (passes Bechdel Test)
* Grey's Anatomy (passes Bechdel Test)
* Doctor Who
* Covert Affairs (passes Bechdel Test)
* Leverage (passes the Bechdel Test)

Okay that's all I can think of. If you can come up with more - go ahead.

[ETC - got some weird responses to this question, so am clarifying my intent: on lj yesterday saw several posts about whether it was important to reveal your previous gender and sexual orientation to someone prior to boinking them. And if not doing so, ie - having sex with someone but not telling them you are "transgender" or "bisexual" - is a betrayal of trust akin to rape. This got me to thinking - what if any questions do people need to know the answers to prior to "boinking"? ] So, trying again: a hypothetical question, because I'm curious - before having sex with someone you just met, who is really hot, and you are completely turned on by, and it is so completely mutual - (ie. if you met your sexual ideal at a bar who considered you his/her sexual ideal as well) what if any questions would you absolutely have to know the answer to before you hop into bed with him or her? And what would be a deal breaker? What would make you turn them down? Would you care if they were transgender or bisexual? Does this matter? Or perhaps more importantly - do you care if they lie about it? For some of us - sex hinges on trust - so we care more about the lie or having the truth withheld than the actual response. But this poses yet another question - does your partner need to know the answer to those questions?

(I should answer this myself, I know. So, hypothetically?

[As an aside - I'm tempted to see Bernadette Peters in A Little Night Music or at least buy the album, yeah I know Catherine Zeta Jones won the emmy, but she does not have Peters voice and ability to interpret the lines. My favorite - Peters song was Children Will Listen from Into the Woods.]
( my off the cuff answer to the above hypothetical situation )

As an another aside? If you ever get the chance to see the Broadway Musical Next to Normal - go! It is brilliant. And it doesn't matter who stars in it. The score and story is that good. It did not win The Pulitizer for no reason. Sort of like watching Who's Afraid of Virigina Woolf put to music with bi-polar and child loss issues combined. I laughed and sobbed during this musical. Best one I've seen in quite some time.