Spontaneous Musings

I forgot to mention that I saw Ms Marvel over the weekend. Or rather the first episode. Disney doesn't drop them all at once like Netflix - you have to wait. I'm tempted to let them all pile up and then watch.
( vague spoilery review )

Crazy Company

Has decided we need to have training in a few more items. But it's not really training - it's more sit and watch a video with close captioning on your computer for fifteen minutes. Voila. Done. So, I now know how to safely handle mail, what internal controls are, what toxic substances to avoid, and my right to know that they exist. Also how to avoid physically threatening people or being physically threatened in the workplace.

Crazy workplace also felt the need to inform me of all of the feats of wonder that senior and executive management have accomplished - most of whom I barely know, and none that I've met in person (nor particularly want to).

Over the weekend - I saw this speech by a guy whose name I've spaced and can't begin to spell - it was on youtube and aired after one of the promos that a friend had posted in her DW journal. In it - the guy spoke about how toxic our culture has become. Decisions about our lives, work, benefits, sick leave, vacation time, pay, etc are made by people that many of us have never met nor seen. And who don't know our names or that we even exist. And more importantly do not care. The thrust of our society appears to be on materialistic gain, acquisition of awards or trophies, and a view of "achievement" or "accomplishment" - with success having a monetary value or materialistic one. Over 50% of the population has various chronic diseases - such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, arthritis, all of which are caused by or increased by stress, and anxiety. And 50% of us have mental ailments - depression or anxiety or both. We are alienated from each other, isolated, and alienated from our natural world. We are meant to be custodians or stewards of it, instead we are destroying it for our own materialistic gain.

This toxicity is killing us. It permeates everything in our culture. But we have choices, we can change things. (And then of course - he gave the information on how to get the materials to do just that.) But the gist is correct. I think. And it haunts me. I feel I have no control.

Today management asked me if I was close to awarding a project. I informed them that I was basically waiting on their management and the funding - and their guess was as good as mine. "It could be next week, tomorrow, the end of the week, next month...we really have no way of knowing."

Family

Mother keeps regaling me with stories about her mean girlfriend. She also called me at 9, so as a result I'm up later. (There's only so many hours in the day - today, I... commuted (3 hours round trip), worked (8 hours), went grocery shopping (1 hour), took a shower (15-20 minutes), called mother - who'd called me when I was getting out of the shower (45 minutes), cooked dinner and made lunch (20 minutes), eat and watched soap (2 hour includes cleaning up), started writing post and got interrupted by mother (45 minutes), finish post (30 minutes). Sigh.
( Mother and her mean friend )
**

Here's a picture of an impromptu concert yesterday in front of the pharmacy and fruit & veggie store (which I learned never to buy chicken from - I did and well, never buy chicken from it again).

It was gloomy, foggy, and in the 60s and 70s. Since my internal heating and cooling system is currently on the fritz, I wore a short sleeved shirt, a light black cardigan, and a light black LL Bean windbreaker. Then proceeded to peel them off and put them back on at various intervals during the commute. At work - it was the sweater, then the work sweatshirt and back to the shirt again for the same reasons.

Then on the way home - after going to the pharmacy - it decided to have what can best be described as a bit of a deluge. (I was woefully unprepared, because the idiotic weather person told me it would sunny this afternoon and wouldn't rain. Well, I did have an umbrella - and I bought one. Not that it made much difference.) ( Read more... )

Brain fog big time today. It was so bad, I lost track of time and almost missed my train.( Read more... )

The boredom at work (I'm in a holding pattern - waiting on other people to provide me with stuff, while trying to create boring spreadsheets and charts), also filing (which I'm procrastinating, because I hate putting files together - I'm not that clerical.). So to entertain myself - I decided to torture myself by surfing the internet hunting information on childhood friend. (Found more than I wanted on her professional life as a prestigious international avant garde design architect. She has installations in various museums, and commissioned a work in Stockholm, and in a prestigious and well known residential work in Sweden. She's also a professor at Sci-Arc.)

I informed my brother of this via text.

Brother: Stalker. Did she answer you back on Linked In?
Me: No. And she won't. I'm not in the art world.

Me: Have you heard of Sci-Arc?
Brother: Yes, I've heard of Sci-Arc.

Of course she didn't - answer me back. Would have been surprised if she did. After my research, I regretted my message and hoped she wouldn't respond. Felt kind of silly for sending it off to begin with. (I blame mother for infecting me with her nostalgic kick.)

My bit of research made it clear childhood friend never would, assuming she even sees it. ( Read more... )

***
Quote of the Day:

It is time to come to your senses. You are to live and to learn to laugh. You are to learn to listen to the cursed radio music of life and to reverence the spirit behind it and to laugh at its distortions. So there you are. More will not be asked of you. - Herman Hesse

Oddly comforting.

***

1. Twitter: Do any of my US fiends fancy living in a forest in Scotland?
Me: I do. Sounds appealing at the moment. Add in a hot Scotsman, and I'm sold.

2. Twitter...

A bunch of writers posted this on Twitter and then proceeded to discuss it at length, to my amusement.



Here's the Thread

I did learn something from the Thread - whatever you do, don't mess around with Hippos.

Everyone apparently thought the tiger or the croc were the best bet. Although it depends on whether they were fed first.
( Read more... )
Most people figure they are safe with the croc (who apparently is really a Caiman, so really safe), and possibly the tiger, who may ignore them. No way in hell - regarding the hippo. And iffy on the bear. Most of the discussion was regarding the other three (tiger, bear, and croc - people were pretty much united on avoiding Hippos at all costs). And what the requirements were. (Could they climb a tree? What was the proximity? Were weapons allowed? Would they be in a cage with them? Handcuffed? Could they bring non-lethal weapons? Or any weapon? Was it combat? What type of bear? What type of Crocodile? I mean these were novelists discussing this - they have imaginations. They were rather funny though.)

Yes, this is how a bunch of bored professional novelists entertain themselves on a Friday afternoon.

3. Twitter was also posting list memes...

* Top Six Films You Can Watch at Any Time and Consider Close to Perfect.

[This made me more aware of the fact that a lot of the comedic and other types of films that most people love that do not work for me at all. For example? I have yet to get through The Big Lebowski by the Cohen Brothers. I don't like the movie. It doesn't work for me at all, and I can't get through it. Wales loves it so much, she took a day off work to honor it. And the word "Dude" gets on my nerves. Another example? This is Spinal Tape (I feel asleep during it). Wayne's World - sigh. Bill & Ted - sigh. (Let's face it movies about stupid nerdy fan boys who objectify women, tend to irritate me.) I'm also not a fan of Wes Anderson's films.

So Top Six Films...off the top of my head?

Gross Point Blank
His Girl Friday
Blade Runner
Empire Strikes Back
Jaws
Singing in the Rain

But I won't be held to that.

Stolen from another part of Twitter: 10 bands or Songwriters/Singers to know me
1 Joni Mitchell
2 Helen Reddy
3 The Beatles
4 Aertha Franklin
5. Nina Simone
6. Pink Floyd
7. Bob Dylan
8. The Magnetic Tapes
9. Elle McllWaine
10. R.E.M

How accurate that is? I'm clueless. But weirdly I found that I got most folks taste in music - better than their taste in film. I think I like a story in film.

***

Niece is definitely better - she took a beach day. After deferring her exam, she wandered about a bit today, and went to the beach. (See, that's how I should have been able to handle my recuperation from COVID. But nooo, I drug my sorry ass to work and back. No wonder I still have brain fog.)

Off to bed. To sleep and hopefully have better dreams than last night.

But, my health is bouncing back. I have energy again. I'm not insanely tired all the time. Also the brain fog is for the most part gone. Yes, there is life after COVID. Although still have lingering cough - no doubt due to allergies.

Just hope my niece comes through okay. She experienced "shortness of breath today" and it scared her. So she went to the health clinic - but they couldn't help. Instead, her parents, who are in NYC, convinced niece to go to the emergency room. So niece spent four hours in a London Emergency Room. They told her that her chest was clear and she was fine. (I actually had a little of it too - but I'm in my fifties, and have had it before, and did the breathing tests that my Aunt taught me. ) Poor niece is all alone in London, self-isolating, her roommate is elsewhere. And she has a final exam on Friday in International Law, which is eight hours long, and several essays, and she still has to study for it, so can't just relax and veg.

I worry about her. Her parents wish they could come and take care of her. I've been texting her back and forth as well - and let her know I had the shortness of breath too - it feels like the wind has been kicked out of you.

In other news, regarding COVID - NYC is now under high alert - the case level has risen to almost 10%, and is on the rise. The hospitals however are still okay - so they've not imposed the restrictions as of yet, but they are asking everyone to wear masks indoors and in public areas, also on public transportation. Not everyone is - because, sigh, people.

***

Commute

I need to set this up right. I take the G subway train every morning at around 6:40 - 6:45 am. I leave my house at 6:30-6:31, and it takes me about five to ten minutes to get to the train, which stops halfway down the platform.

The first and last stop on the G is Church Avenue, my stop. The Southbound train stops at Church, they take it out of service, clean it, and empty it, and circle it around to take the next group of passengers north to Court Square. (I get off about 10-15 stops at Fulton St or twenty minute ride. )
Sometimes you have to wait for it , and the conductor who gets on it at the same time we do.

This morning, I ran to catch it - it clearly was running a bit later than usual and was full. I wondered why? Apparently there was a homeless guy at the very back of the car, or away from the conductor's cab. I was in the last car. It's a six car train - since the G is always smaller than other trains which are usually twelve cars. G's tend to be six to eight cars.
The homeless man had a very full grocery cart with all his earthly possessions, not a lot of clothes on, was filthy, and rambling. People understandably gave him a wide berth. He'd camped out at the end of the train, wasn't wearing a mask, and it was best to move as far away as possible.
( adventures in NYC commuting during pandemics )

*********

Dyslexia and Learning

Good and Bad News. NYC to Mandate Dyslexic Screening for all Students and Phonics in Elementary Schools

Good? Dyslexia Screening.
Bad? Mandating Phonics - Phonics was first dictated in the 1970s, Michael Landon got behind it. And it was introduced in all the schools at the time. The next best thing. It is also the reason I couldn't learn how to read until the second grade. And I wasn't alone, a lot of kids couldn't learn to read because of Phonics. My second grade teacher figured it out, Mrs. Viola. I'll never forget her. I desperately wanted to learn how to read - and she taught me and several other students - by pulling out an old sight and sound reader, it was the Dick and Jane books from he 1950s. See Dick. See Jane. Suddenly reading made sense to me. It wasn't a bunch of weird ass sounds that connected to nothing and sounded like machinery grinding together. It made sense. I thought visually. And the pictures didn't flip around on me. If it weren't for the Sight and Sound readers - I don't know if I would have learned to read. Phonics had been the bane of my existence, and I've met many others in my life who said the same thing.

It would help if people understood dyslexia better than they do. It's not just flipping letters around, or words around. It's far more complex than that. I remember a friend trying to explain it to two mutual friends doing a paper on dyslexia. They didn't have it. She said it was close to impossible to explain it to them - it's how she thought and viewed the world, she didn't know the other way - or how they saw things. It was normal for her.

Same. ( how I found out I was dyslexic or my journey with dyslexia )
I could go on and on...but my point is merely this, no one form of education should be mandated. You are actively discriminating against the poor students who cannot learn that way, and that's cruel. No student should be made to feel stupid or less than because they can't learn the way that is currently mandated or dictated by some well-meaning adult who has never met them.

We do not live in a one size fits all world, no matter how much we wish we did.

*******

Off to bed. Sorry for the long entry. It happens.

So made a little excursion into Manhattan to see my niece. Aided her in getting to her parents friend's house, where she was spending the night. Tomorrow she'd stay with her friend, whose Birthday is this weekend.

I basically got myself wedged into the weekend - in order to see her. Which is okay, actually. At least I have a niece to see - and at least she wishes to see me. And at least we get along and text message. Glass half full and all that. I feel like I'm on the opposite side of an argument though. I have flashes of my Aunt Kathy, and other Aunts finding time to spend with me in the city, each of us navigating around our busy lives. And feeling hit by their envy of opportunities I've had in my life that they wish they did.

Life, isn't a contest, a competition or a race. We all have journeys. Separate from each other - and we're lucky if we have companionship or even cross paths alone the way. (Sorry, I'm watching Station Eleven as I write this.)

At any rate, spent most of the day on public transit, but then so did she. Also on the plus side - transit moved smoothly and without any disruptions for once. Also, I was able to get a seat for the most part.

N: I've forgotten how dirty the NYC transit is.
Me: London tube is cleaner?
N: So much cleaner. But folks don't hassle you as much on NYC transit. Over there I prefer the buses, over here I prefer the subway.
Me: Well the buses are fun to ride over there, they are just dangerous and stressful here. Not that they aren't dangerous over there - just less so and lot more fun. [That and London buses unlike the Tube run 24/7. I loved the London buses. Which by the way are also in Wales and other places. (OR at least they were when I went over there in the 1980s. I traveled by bus through most of Wales. ]

Me: do people wear masks on transit in London?( Read more... )

***

Station Eleven - reminds me a lot of Cloud Atlas. Also a few other series - where you follow five separate point of view threads, all connected via the focal point of view characters relationships with each other. Intersecting when they come into contact. I'm trying to remember what it reminds me of - it's not Cloud Atlas exactly, but something else.
However I've seen this gimmick done a lot, recently in New Amsterdam, and it can work if done well. If done poorly - it can be difficult to follow.
"This is US" does it, as well. Station Eleven similar to This is US, jumps about in time. The last episode shifted to and from in time multiple times, and it took me a while to figure out where I was in time and the narrative through line. (It was the relationship between the Hollywood actor and his ex-wife, as seen from her point of view.)

I think this what attracted my brother to it - he loves narrative gimmicks and film gimmicks. While they tend to annoy me, once I figure them out.
That said there's some interesting character sketches in this series, and it is compelling, if slow in places.

The theme of this episode - is what if I'm living the wrong life? What if I'm doing it all wrong, wasting time doing art or some meaningless thing - only to die? Did I put importance on the wrong things?

It doesn't quite provide an answer, except that we have no way of knowing.

**

Moon Knight

Continues to be interesting, if kind of wackadoodle. It does remind me a little of Legion in how it is filmed and told. Mainly because we're in the point of view of a mentally unstable super-hero. We basically have Batman with DID. Legion also had DID.

I like it better than Legion, mainly because the lead is a touch more likable and it has a remarkably strong female lead character. Plus all of the Egypitan mythology, and archeology, and I'm sold.

The wackadoodle doesn't bother me - I read comics. However, I am growing weary of the whole insane asylum trope that the writers pull out whenever a character is being psychologically manipulated or tortured by the bad guys.
Assuming of course, it's the bad guy doing it.

After Moon Knight - we're getting Ms. Marvel with Kamala. I tried to find Naomi on the CW - but I can't and gave up. Highly annoyed by that.

***

Sensors - or the whole Glucose tracking thing I plugged into my arm.

* The readings are interesting. When I eat it goes up. When I don't it goes down. Sometimes. It was at 240 at 12 am, then dived to 140 at 1am, went back up to 241 at 12pm, then went down to 148 at 3pm, then up to 210 at 7pm, an has dove down to 100 now. Granted I just started on Friday, so may need to wait and see if it stabilizes first.

I do not have finger sticks and have never used them. So am new about this whole thing. Also it is Type 2, not Type 1, so no insulin shots, just meds.

Mother keeps getting confused.

***

Anyhow...going to try and revise a bit more of my book then bed. I got cold when I returned home. So I'm wearing sweat pants (LL Bean joggers - which feel like pjs), sweat shirt, and no socks. Yet, feet are oddly okay.

Weird.

(I'm exaggerating. This is my sense of humor, which apparently runs in my family.)

Me: Checking in - I'm safe. Subway shooting was nowhere near me.
Bro: Yea, I checked you're proximity and figured you'd have a hard time getting a gun. Too soon? Sorry.. Glad you're okay.

Mother: LOL!

Me: Every time I take the subway with the "children" on it, I have two thoughts, 1) I'm glad I never had kids, and 2) the sudden desire to go back in time and neuter my entire generation.
Mother: LOL!

So see? We have a dark sense of humor in my family. [I find the MASH theme song amusing.]

***

Luckily for me - I left for work at 6:30 am, and got there at 7:54 am. I was seated at my desk, working away, when some nitwit decided to board a subway with a gas mask, and open fire on the poor passengers. It was on a "moving" train and during rush hour (8:30 or thereabouts). 16-19 people were injured, at least 10 fatally shot. Scary and tragic.

The subway line was the R line. I take the G train, or the Q, if it's not working. Sometimes the F to the R if hard pressed, but that's further north. And not today.
( Read more... )
***

COVID

Less and less masks on subways and stations. It's annoying. Also hardly anyone wears them at work - outside of a few colleagues in my area of cubicle land. I told folks going on the site tour - that since it is being held outdoors - we weren't enforcing masks.

According to Mother, the Mayor has COVID now.

And my Doctor wants me to get the fourth shot or second booster. (I would rather rate until it is easy to come by. Since she's not giving it to me, and neither is crazy company...I see no rush. Doc is recommending it to all patients over 50.) Doc also wants to increase Metroformin to 1000 at night, and 500 in the morning, with statins for Cholesterol.

Mother is throwing caution to the winds and going to see Hamilton in Charleston with her retirement center in July. She figures her knee will be healed by then. If not, she'll find someone who can buy her ticket.

***

I may not get to see my niece in April after all. Apparently her boyfriend is coming up for her birthday, and then she's expected to go back with him to Virginia. Apparently, he's been traveling to see her - so now it's her turn? Oh poor baby - he had to go all the way to London and Scotland to see his girlfriend. Must be tough. The travails of the rich.

I foresee issues in my niece's future regarding social work. From her perspective there's the extremely wealthy and there's my niece's family.

Mother: well she is studying poverty.
Me: Not the same thing.

***

Determined that the woozy/dizziness of yesterday, which I felt again today - was most likely not do to the CBD as previously thought, but due to the combination of allergies and shifts in barometric pressure playing havoc with my ves·tib·u·lar system. (When you look up a word on Google - it has an audio of the word, and phonetic spelling. I looked it up because while I have a great vocabulary, I can't spell. ) Anyhow, I figured this out when it happened again at work this morning - and was quickly remedied with a tynenol sinus allergy pill.

**

Anyhow, hoping everyone has a safe night and a safe rest of the week. No crazy gunmen disrupting it. Workplace sent out an email telling us to be safe. (It did not say avoid the trains - since obviously we couldn't.) Also I happen to work for a transportation agency. On the way home, there were police all over the place. Atlantic Avenue Terminal had cops with dogs. Why they needed dogs, I don't know. Can the German Shepards sniff out guns? (They always use German Shepards, and Doberman's for some reason.)

Covid-19 Antibody test came back..( Read more... )

Oh, I told my mother that the doctor thinks my high cholesterol might be genetic. My mother begs to differ.

Mother: Except your father and I didn't have it until recently.
Me: Nor did I.
Mother: We were older than you.
Me: By what ten years??

Mother suggested that instead of giving away all my Easter candy, I just throw it in the freezer like my grandmother used to do with her candy. (She'd get free candy in Vegas or at Christmas or make it, then throw it in the freezer and eat it sparingly.) Except, mother pointed out - this doesn't necessarily stop her from eating it. It stopped my grandmother, it did not stop mother.

I'm wondering if the combo keto and paeolo diets over the years caused my cholesterol to spike - due to the increase in cheese substitutes and meat fats? Although I have kind of gone off of red meat for the foreseeable future on account of it just not being digestible. (I know keto has resulted in a lot of folks getting their gall bladder's removed or in high cholesterol due to the fact that most people can't process fat that well.)
(As an aside cholesterol is a difficult word to spell.)

***

I may re-watch Bridgerton - I'm in the mood for fluffy romance, and I like the characters. It's not for everyone. But nothing is. There are things other people like that I can't watch. It's like food. I don't like brussle sprouts, my brother loves them. I don't know which family he sprouted out of - but it wasn't ours, no one in my family likes it but him.

***

Oh, Biden appointed the first female to an Admiral Position via Kamala Harris on Twitter.

President Biden has nominated Adm. Linda Fagan to serve as the next commandant of the U.S. Coast Guard, the administration announced Tuesday.

If confirmed, Fagan would be the first woman ever to lead a branch of the U.S. military, lawmakers said.

YAY! And about bloody time. I feel like going into a chorus of anything you can do, I can do better...or something.

Although, this does mean that women can be drafted, although I think we could be as early as the 1990s, so never mind.

**

Been feeling a tad depressed of late, combination of the weather (gloomy and we're getting a late Spring), work, and my frustration with my body at the moment.

Reading another romance novel - It's one of Julie Anne Long's books about the Palace of Rogues. ( Read more... )

Mother survived yet another surgery - this time around on her left knee. I think it's her left knee, the opposite knee from the hip that she had massive surgery on last year. She had to get a full knee replacement, the arthritis in the knee got so bad that it was bone on bone. The surgeon was amazed she made it this far on that knee, stating she really needed the surgery - and thought she was a real trooper.

Brother texted me that she was okay. He'd gone down to help her out. He's staying a week. (He drives (I do not) and he's retired for the most part, with not as many responsibilities or rather he's more flexible.

Bro: She's doing good, alert, chatty. Very chatty.
Me: LOL! Well, you'll get caught up on all of the gossip on Hilton Head and in the family.
Bro: Eesh.
Me: LOL!

Mother said he'd been very patient with her.

Niece is arriving home (back in the US) tomorrow - her mother switched her flight to Wed, because the teachers are on strike again in Britain, so they got out a week early for spring break. They get an entire month off.

Her mother is in the city tonight attending a British - African Hip Hop Concert that she couldn't get any of her friends to go to. So she's going by herself. My brother said it's going to be my tiny Jewish/Italian/Cherokee by way of Ireland sister-in-law in a room with a bunch of huge black men. (I doubt it - hip hop is fairly diverse.) I don't know which band it is - just that they aren't here very often and she couldn't pass up the chance to see them in person.

Meanwhile I can't even get myself to go out to eat with Wales, let alone a movie, or theater date. I'm also still wearing a mask everywhere. Most folks are, although quite a few aren't. A lot of my co-workers have stopped wearing them now. There's just a handful of us who refuse to stop. Everyone does on public transportation at least - except for a handful of folks who don't - there's always been a handful. I see more and more of them. Yesterday and this morning, I found myself sitting next to them.

It unnerves me, but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. My super's no longer wear them, and many of the folks in my building don't. I get it.
I know why - they don't. It's not simple, it's complicated. But I feel more comfortable wearing my KF94's and KN95's. I don't get sick when I wear them.

At work, I had a lengthy chat with Ali the lawyer/engineer. She's both. Double Trouble. Actually, I like her. We were chatting about Bridgerton and romance novels. She'd read the books, and was upset that the second season completely veered away from the books altogether. The lead female character was apparently ruined - in the book she's selfless and sacrifices herself for her sister, in this one - she doesn't, and is selfish, and there's a love triangle - when there wasn't one at all in the book.

In short they turned it into a soap opera.

My brother was watching it with my mother and asked what happened to all the sex scenes. He was lead to believe it had lots of raunchy sex.
So mother, being mother, felt the need to regale him with the details of the raunchy sex scenes in the previous season of Bridgerton. (Mother has no shame. Or filter in this regard.)

Mother: I think I gave him too much information.
ME: LOL! Poor thing.

I've not seen it yet - both Gabe and I are saving it for this weekend. I was in a pseudo-serious mood last weekend. Although I may watch Spiderman again. As Ali-the-lawyer pointed out, life is painful enough as it is - we need some joy, hence romance novels. (She also reads science fiction and fantasy, sigh, a woman after my own heart. Those are my fav's too. I told her that I couldn't read mysteries and horror any longer - there was too much murder, torture and mayhem in them for my current mood.) Apparently one of her former law professors is a well-known romance novelist in her spare time. (I should have gotten better at writing romance novels. I have one I'm working on, but it's a contemporary...and it still may not see the light of day or make it out of my hard drive/cloud alive.)

Ugh, off to bed. Nite.

Crashed and burned this weekend - after a trying work week and the ill effects of the DST transistion. Caught up on sleep.

Wales: Disney and HBO are merging.
Me: Uh no, they aren't.
Wales: I heard it.
Me: I don't see that happening...
Wales: HBO and Disney both showed West Side Story.
Me: I know Amazon bought MGM, but not that -
Wales: Well look it up.

I have. She's wrong. They just made a deal to share streaming privileges to 20th Century Fox properties for one year.

Me: How was the print screening class?
Wales: I left it.
ME: Oh? Why -
Wales: I felt uncomfortable with the other students there was a huge generation gap, and I was slower than they were.
ME: Basically you were the old lady with a bunch of kids?
Wales: Pretty much, and they well we weren't connecting...
Me: Sorry. Maybe another class -
Wales: Don't be - I got what I wanted out of it. I made a lot of Freedom from Religion t-shirts. If you want one, I have them.
Me: Freedom from Religion? I should send you the sermon my Minister did a while back about Religion vs. Spirituality, that a religious atheist requested.
Wales: An atheist?
ME: I know a lot of very religious atheists. Also a lot of agnostic atheists.
Wales: I believe in an after-life since I really want to see my parents again in it, and be with them. But that's probably not true...but I need to believe it is -
Me: We don't know. No one does. It could very well be. If that's reassuring?

I'm a spiritual agnostic with issues with religion. Although I think - religion is people. My father used to have this little game he'd play to keep me entertained in church as a small child. He'd fold his hands together, and make kind of steeple with his fingers. "Here's the church, and here's the steeple," he'd say, and then open up his palms.."open up the doors, and here's all the people." His message was clear - a church or any organization really is only as good as the people within it.

My difficulty with religion is the same with well any organization - cliques. I have an aversion to exclusive groups.

Wales: I don't like religion because it is -
Me: Exclusive?
Wales: Yes, that..almost like a sorority of sorts. Not everyone is really welcome.
Me: My thoughts exactly.

We both left our sorority for those reasons - we don't like exclusivity.
I don't like rejection and I don't like rejecting others. It's why I don't like flocking my posts. It hurts when I get rejected, and it hurts when I reject others. Pinpricks on the soul.

Of course it's a necessary evil to do so. I just wish it wasn't.

It's why creative writing and art are so hard - it's 90% rejection. And really hard to get things published.

Wales: You kind of need to know the right people. Also gone to the right schools, the Ivys.
Me: Yeah, Brandeis, Bard, Princeton, Vasser, Wellsey, Radcliff...not Colorado College (which was and is an excellent school by the way).
Wales: It's social class - if you are from a certain class, and went to certain schools, with certain connections -
Me: You get published.

But you also have to be able to handle lots of rejection and people wanting to rewrite your story and fix it. It's just painful.

We've become cynical in our middle-old age, Wales and I. Although all of that, doesn't stop me from dreaming, writing, revising, and hoping. I may be a fool for doing so...but who knows.

**

I've been following with amusement the GH Convention posts on Soap Twitter. The soap operas have fan conventions to keep up their fan bases and keep themselves going. GH is about to celebrate it's 59th Anniversary. Mother felt the need to regale me with news of Bold & the Beautiful's 35th anniversary (it only has two of its original cast members - and one of them has walked down the aisle on the show 29 times). Then mother decided to tell her history with soap operas. She's turning 80 this year. She started watching them with her family in the 1940s and 50s. She remembers when Guiding Light was on radio then fifteen minutes on television. And all the soaps she's watched over the years. She got me hooked on soap operas.
I watch them for something innocuous to discuss with her - something trivial that isn't about family, death, health, or work.

Anyhow the art department at GH is rather creative...they rebranded all the candy and products in the vending machine. And their cereals.

Hopefully this photo of the vending machine on the studio tour posted on Twitter will be visible:



If not...go HERE. You have to respect the detail and the work involved.

What's amusing is the fandom is kind of like all fandoms in the following ways...

* They dislike any platform that they aren't posting currently on and think the fandom on that other platform is evil. (Soap Twitter users think the fandom on FB is evil, and vice versa.)

*They hate certain characters who seem to get all the air time. (It's usually a character that gets in the way of a favorite ship, or takes up too much screen time - which is a thing on soaps. There are characters who get more screen time than others.)

* They think the actors have a say in the storyline and characters they portray, no matter how often they state otherwise. [Actors have no say in storylines or pairings. No control, no say, and no knowledge. Even if they claim otherwise. It's BS. The fans actually have more say - because if fans hate something and make it known, the writers will eventually get it and move in another direction.]

***

They seem to have finally gotten the message below floors and adjusted the thermostat. The apartment is no longer overheated, and I was able to turn off the air conditioner and enjoy pleasant 60-70 temperatures. I also slept better as a result.

***

COVID is still raging. My mother keeps telling me about people she knows who got it - while entertaining. And my brother was relieved they tested negative after going to a friend's birthday party in a crowded restaurant, with no one wearing masks.

The actors on the soaps get tested for COVID three times a week. My niece was getting tested almost daily. She wanted to go to Berlin to visit a friend - but her parents nixed it. They've chosen to reign her in a bit.
***

I am admittedly tempted by the Jane Austen Literary Mug that they are advertising on PBS while airing Sandition. But it's a $72 dollar.

Currently watching Sandition - which still isn't as good as the version written by "Another Lady" that I read in the 1980s. It held true to the Austen style, while this one is more...well, Downton Abbey and The Gilded Age. (I'm watching the end of S1, because I stopped when I heard it ended on a cliff-hanger and wasn't being renewed. But now that it has and there's a second season, I'm watching the three episodes I skipped. And since I already know it doesn't closely follow the original - I can safely handwave it.)

**

Anyhow...that's it for tonight, I think.

Here's a picture for kicks and giggles...

Taking tomorrow off as already reported - due to predicted icy weather. The temperatures start in the 50s then jump to the 30s and 20s. It's supposed to rain, then immediately switch to ice with up to ten inch thickness of ice being reported in some areas. I walk and take the subway - trying to do that in ice, with rain, and snow, and sleet - during a pandemic - is not my idea of fun.

Mother told my brother that I'd chosen to take a vacation day as opposed to venturing into the office - and he wholeheartedly approved, he had read the weather forecast too.

I think my writing is slightly off tonight. Brain fog. I need a break. Work stress + pandemic + prolonged isolation (well if you can call living in a huge city, and in apartment complex with 77 units, taking mass transportation or walking with others on the sidewalks all the time...isolation) = brain fog.

I may binge-watch The Expanse. I got into over the weekend, and it unlike other things is not frustrating me at the moment.

***

Niece informed me that everything but the bus, the tube and flights to Europe is wickedly expensive. She was able to get a flight to Portugal for 50 pounds (not dollars as previously reported), which is far cheaper than either rail or uber or taxi. Tube is 2.50 and bus is cheap.

***

Mother is worried about her left knee - which is bone on bone, the cartilage eaten away by arthritis. It hurts. But she doesn't want to deal with the ordeal of knee surgery - takes 6 weeks of recovery time, and once again with the home health care aids who are in increasingly short supply.
Poor mother - she's 79 years of age, and her body is breaking down on her. Also she's alone now - for the most part, because father has Alzheimer's and is in the Long Term Care Facility.( Read more... )

Mother tells me that I'm a lot like my father - good at redefining myself, adapting to new situations quickly, and teaching myself new skills. Also, I tend to talk myself down instead of up. Basically I'll tell everyone that I suck at something, only to turn around and excel at it. One former boss once told me to stop telling everyone I sucked at math. He decided I had a math phobia. Mainly because he watched me sit in a room with a bunch of mathematicians attempting to figure out why a royalty calculation database system was not working. The individual who'd been in the position prior to myself - did calculation after calcuation for months and could not figure it out. I figured it out in about an hour. They were leaving out part of the calculation. It was a video game royalty calculation database. It calculated how much was to be paid to channel distributors (for distributing the games) and 1st/2nd and 3rd party video game developers. There was only one third party video game developer - and they left them out of the calculations. The consultant who taught algebra on the side was writing it all up on the board. And...
( Read more... )
Then I was laid off - along with about fifty percent of the administrative/financial staff. It was an interesting group. The Finance Department was overworked and underpaid. They worked until midnight, came in at 10 Am, and took two hour lunches - often dragging me with them. Actually they always drug me with them. The group was lead by a sweetheart of a guy from Southern China. The Finance Department was a mix of Chinese, Ukranian, Japanese, Korean, Russian, Columbian, Caribbean, and Middle Eastern Immigrants. We did lunch together - and since we were located on one of the top floors of One Penn Plaza - we'd take off to Little Korea, China Town, and Japan Town for lunch - it was a quick subway ride or walk away. I learned a lot about each of the ethnic cultures while there, and a ton about various food choices. I was gluten-intolerant - so Asian cuisine worked well. My favorite was the all-you-can eat sushi and Japanese buffet restaurant. I don't remember where it was - but it was amazing. Also by far the best sushi in the city. I think there were only ten non-Asians in the place - and they were all in our group. There's another great place that my pal, Alice Chiu had taken me too, back in the day. We've lost touch - she had a kid, moved to Long Island, and life sent us our separate ways. Happens a lot in this nutty city of over 8 million.

Anyhow, that was my experience working for a dot.com. Everyone should try it, or not. Early 00s. Over 14 years ago. In 2007. Yippee Ki Aye.

[Ah, found out what happened to it - like all the other companies I've worked for in my lifetime it was acquired by another company. I'm beginning to wonder if I've worked for an organization or company that wasn't bought out, merged or transformed either while I was working for it or shortly thereafter? And they all do the same dumb things. ]

***

COVID & Other News..

* ( Australia )

While the US...sigh...

* ( The Olympics )


* ( Billionaires, their boats and jets. )

**

I think my UU Zoom Bible Study Group gave up or just took me off the email list, one or the other - since I've not heard a peep out of them for a bit. Don't care. Lost interest. It last two years, so that's saying something, I suppose.

I dropped out multiple times - mainly because I hate Zoom. But I also dropped out prior to Zoom. So there's that.

***

Ending with a picture..

I got cold this afternoon, and the heat thankfully flared back on again - I'd begun to worry about it. (Yet, another thing that I've no control over, so most of the time I don't worry. But I know the boiler needed fixing a while back and they need to replace it. I'm just hoping they wait until the Spring or Summer to do so. Preferably the summer. And give me forewarning, so I can plan a vacation elsewhere.)

Me: My crazy work place...
Mother: Oh? Now what?
Me: They sent an email reminding us that we were "returning to the regular office schedule next week" and "were off the telecommute hybrid schedule" and if reasonable accommodation was possible to get our forms into the proper authorities. Then right after that email - about ten-fifteen minutes after it, came a notification - that we should disregard the last email since they'd changed their minds and were extending the Telecommute, WFH hybrid schedule to February 15, with a memo pending.
Mother: They've been doing that all along haven't they?
ME: They can't make up their mind. It's ridiculous. And it's so political.

In March 2020, up until roughly the 16th, I was convinced I was doomed. There was no way I was going to avoid getting sick. I had no access to a mask, couldn't get hand sanitizer to save my life, and I was being forced to come in and out of a crowded transportation hub to go to work each day in a cubicle with lots of folks socializing. Plus I had to take public transportation - and no one had access to any masks at that point, we were making our own.

Then, all of sudden we were yanked out.

My anxiety was through the roof, and so was my blood pressure. It took me three weeks to calm down - basically when I figured out that we were going to stay remote, and how to work remotely off my laptop without having to go back into the office.

The problem with my work and well everything really - is it is all politicized.

***

Got into two debates, somewhat heated on WSA FB Group, making me wonder about folks.

1. Journalistic standards and practices, along with scholarly ones. When reporting on events that are more than 20 years old, isn't it required that you obtain "primary sources" and do not rely on secondary anonymous sources? ( Read more... )

2. Authorial Intent. I remember having long and rather interesting discussions about this on the ATPOBTVS fan discussion board in 2002-2005.
The consensus was pretty much that it was almost impossible to determine authorial intent in a collaborative work of art, with multiple players who kept changing and jumping in and out of it. You can try, but it's most likely just bringing your own subtext to the proceedings. (And we did try.)

I'm seeing it again now on WSA Board on FB. They are discussing how they can reinterpret Angel, Buffy, Firefly, etc - based on what they now know about Whedon or in light of the recent interview. ( Read more... )

***

COVID

( It's time for the NY Governor's Email Update on the Pandemic, Again )

There, that gives you information on the number of cases in NY, the positivity rate, the hospitalizations, what they are doing about it, how to get test kits, etc. (The only thing they've stopped reporting is the death toll, which is interesting.)

Aunt K told mother she was relieved that she had retired fully before COVID hit. She was a school nurse for the district, and therefore in charge of coordinating the vaccination effort for the H1N1 vaccine. COVID would have been a nightmare. She said the new school nurse, who took over, isn't trained for that sort of thing and doesn't have the higher education my Aunt had, she's just a school nurse - so can't do the checkups and checkins, apparently, the principal has to do them. (I didn't understand it either, not sure mother did.)

***

Mother also told me that niece's grades at the London School of Economics will have no effect on her GPA in the States - because they have a completely different grading system. ( grading system in UK vs. the States )

Speaking of father, today they discussed the people he worked with in the past. Then towards the end, he wanted to travel - and leave the resort he was apparently in, and go somewhere else, and asked mother where they were going out to dinner. And reminded her that they had to leave early the next morning to get to whatever destination he thought they were heading too.

When he's in his right mind - he doesn't ask these questions. It's always painful. And it feels like it is almost every day. I'm not there to witness it, but I listen. That's all I can do really. My mother stays in contact with everyone in our family - she's not angry at anyone, and seemingly gets along with them all - or is oblivious to any grudges, she hand waves them, much as her own mother did.

***

Random Photo of the Evening...